~Jobthingy's Jungle~

Yes, I am alive

2011-01-18T16:53:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe holiday. I have been busy, tired, sick. Just not around. I know. I suck.

I really should not have an excuse anymore because I got myself a shiny new netbook that i can type on til my little heart is content while relaxing in front of the tv. But you know.. Stuff just slips my mind.

Work is good. The Christmas psychos were out in full effect this year driving me batty.

Speedy is amazing. She had a wonderful Christmas. Mind you she always does.

Raspy is awesome. When isnt he?

And that is really all the interesting stuff happening in my life. I know. Boring right.

I will try and update more for the one or 2 lurkers that are still around.

Merry Christmas Pond Cat

2010-12-22T22:06:00.003-05:00

Tonight we went on an adventure searching for the home of Pond Cat.

Pond Cat is a cat that hangs out... at the pond. The duck pond we have behind our house. He hangs out there all spring/summer/fall and lies in the sun by the water, watching the ducks go by and talking to all the passer by's. Sometimes we don't even see him. He sees us, gets up, meows and comes to 'hug' our legs. He is so cute. So friendly. He comes from a well loved home.

His home is behind the pond. I often see him going up or down the path. I had a vague idea which house it was but I was not 100%.

Speedy mentioned that she would like to get Pond Cat a Christmas gift. So a few weeks back I bought a little stuffed mouse ornament from work and I shoved it in a Mason jar with some catnip in it. Sealed the bad boy up and left it.

Tonight, Speedy decided was the night to give Pond Cat his gift. She wanted to give him a card also. We really had no clue of this poor cats name so we wrote on it "To Pond Cat and Family".

I wrapped the catnippy mouse in a piece of tissue paper and off we went.

"i think it is this one" I said. "yeah me too" Speedy happily agreed.

We knocked. A man came to the door and I asked him if the orange cat lived there. He said no, and asked if something was wrong with the cat. I told him no and that we have a gift for this cat and we are trying to find his home. The man said there is an orange cat in the next row. Same door, one row over. PERFECT! I thanked him and we went on.

We rang the doorbell. A very chipper man came to the door. "yes?" he said. "Does the orange cat live here?" I asked.

"Yes he does" the man said.

"Perfect! Ok so here is the deal. Your cat is our friend. We call him Pond Cat. We love Pond Cat. He hangs out beside us all summer long while we feed the ducks and he is just adorable. This is my daughter and she said she wanted to give Pond Cat a Christmas gift. So I bought this stuffy mouse ornament, shoved it in a jar with catnip and now we are here to give this to you for him."

The man smiled HUGE. It was sweet. "really? are you serious?" I said yes and I handed him the gift and the card. I told him that Pond Cat could gladly share with his brother or sister cats but I hope he gets to enjoy it.

The man was floored. Mind you, I think if someone brought a gift to my cat I would be also LOL. He thanked us about 3 times and even offered to bring the cat down to the door so Speedy could wish him a Merry Christmas. I told him it was fine, leave Pond Cat warm and happy inside and just give him a rub from us.

Just as I was about to walk away I said "OH! wait! What is his name anyways?"

The man replied "James"

James Pond Cat. I like it.

Merry Christmas Pond Cat and I hope you love your little present ♥

Happy Birthday Speedy!

2010-12-16T02:17:00.000-05:00

Yep. That big girl over there on the far left.. That is the girl that went to bed an 11 year old and will wake up a 12 year old.

12. 12! I cannot believe this. Seriously. My baby is 12. This is wrong.

She is my sweet girl that tells me she loves me a bazillion times a day. She still loves to snuggle on the couch (even though we barely fit) and watch a movie. She likes to hold me hand walking down the street. How can she be 12.

12 years have flown by. 12 years ago as I type this i was just starting labor (it is just after 10 pm right now but I am autoposting for when she was born). I remember it like it was yesterday. And yet here I sit, listening to her dozy giggles in bed because she is supposed to be sleeping but is so excited tomorrow is her day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET GIRL! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

My Sweet Tween ♥

2010-12-14T22:46:00.003-05:00

My girl is in junior high now. I have a hard time just typing that. It really did not set in much with me. I mean, she went to school in September, she went to grade 7, yeah I knew it was junior high but it did not really scream junior high.

She is in a Special Ed class and she is also about 4 years delayed (she works at the rate more like a 7-8 year old) so none of this was really REAL junior high. She doesn't care for boys, there is no tolerance for bullying in her class. They just do their work and have a fun time.

Then her agenda came home Monday with a note saying "School Dance! Friday! $3.oo" and she was a little excited about it. "HOLY SHIT! My baby is going to a school dance! What the fuck?!" was pretty much the reaction my brain had.

Monday night I asked her about the dance and if she wanted to go. She shrugged and said she did not know. I asked her why and she said "well.. what do you do? where is it?" so I explained to her that it is usually in the gym and they have party lights and loud music and it is fun. That seemed like a good enough answer so she let it be.

Tonight we talked about it some more. She said that she doesn't know about going and if there is a movie somewhere, she would rather do that. I told her to ask one of her friends in class if they are going and could she hang out with them if she is shy and unsure.

That is when she said 'well Jeffry already asked me to go and I told him no'

.....

*snickers*

......

My girl turned down a boy. I find it funny and sad all at the same time. Now granted, this little boy is a sweet boy. He and Speedy have been together since Grade 3 so he knows her. I don't know if he was asking her so much as a date to the dance rather then just a buddy to hang out with. I explained to her that it is ok to go to the dance with him because that does not mean they have to slow dance together. It just means that they can hang out and have a fun time.

So now she is thinking about changing her flat out no to a possible "ok but we are not slow dancing cause that is gross"

Man. I swear just yesterday she was a little cooing butterball searching for her next meal at the boob buffet. How did this happen so fast.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-12-11T01:12:00.003-05:00

Once a month blogging? I need to stop this. Things have been busy at Casa Jobthingy. Christmas season is in full swing so that means work is crazy. Speedy turns 12 this upcoming week and that makes me sad but happy. Sad because my baby is turning 12... 12! But happy because she has overcome so many hurdles.

And now onto my love. I had to share this picture. There was a time when the man was so allergic to cats this could never happen. BadGirl loves Daddy and she is very content (as you can see) on his lap. We are all happy he has built up an immunity to her ♥

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-11-13T06:11:00.000-05:00

I don't have much to say this week other than...

.. .-.. --- ...- . -.-- --- ..- -... --- -.-- ..-. .-. .. . -. -..

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥ and yes I am still alive

2010-11-06T12:59:00.004-04:00

First off, I am still alive. I just have been busy and when I actually sit down to write lately I have nothing. not a thing. So I figured if I just let it be for a while the bug might come back.

However I could not let this weekend go buy without giving Raspy some shout out love. He is a shy lad, but he went ALL out for halloween this year with me and I loved every freaking minute of it.

We were (un)dead disco with 2 other friends.

We looked awesome and I had to share :)

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-10-16T12:05:00.002-04:00

Last weekend was our Thanksgiving up here in the great white north.

Raspy suggested we have a turkey. Normally, most people would say ok. They would not freak out. *I* freaked out. I had never cooked a turkey before in my life.

I got the details how to do it from friends. I hoped for the best. And... I DID IT! It was a yummilicious turkey. I was so proud.

And Raspy.. would have enjoyed it also..... if. He didnt come down with the freaking stomach flu!

Yup. I make a beautiful turkey dinner with all the fixins and he is puking up a storm and cannot leave the house.

So. Speedy and I decided we will have to make another one one weekend soon for him. Raspy is pleased with this. He was pretty bummed he missed it.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-10-09T17:27:00.003-04:00

Today we went to the apple orchard! Neither Raspy or Speedy have gone apple picking before so I was excited to take them. When I was a kid we went every year faithfully.

Unfortunately, all the apples had been picked from the trees and put into large bins.

So we did get fresh apples but we did not get the fun of pulling them off the branches. We know for next year to go earlier in the season.

Only some dogs not allowed

2010-10-05T21:51:00.005-04:00

There once was a time, not that long ago when people would leave their dogs at home. Big or small it did not matter. If you were going out shopping, you left it.

This little sign was plastered everywhere. It seemed to become, what we thought as, common knowledge. If you have a dog, you go out. It is a house pet after all. Unless of course it is a working dog. That is a different story. That working dog has a purpose.

Then little by little pocket dogs invaded the earth. Now don't get me wrong, those wee things are freaking cute.

BUT..

They are fucking dogs. What the hell are you doing with these damn things in stores. Or in your purse. Or in a fucking stroller.

Is the point of walking a dog for it not to get exercise? How the hell does it get said exercise in a stroller. Please. Tell me. I would really like to know.

I work in retail and I cannot tell you how many people walk in with their dogs. They are in their arms or even just walking along side of them looking for the next spot to mark their territory.. IN THE STORE.

If i brought our retriever into your store you SURE as hell would not like it.

What? He is not acceptable as a shopping dog? Why? because he is big? Because his tail is bigger than your dog? But what if poor Nappie wants a day out.

I surely cannot fit him in one of those doggie snugglies now can i?

But no. If I walk in anywhere with our dog I would surely get thrown out.

Yet some how these little pocket dogs are invading. Invading the mall, the grocery store and even the public transportation.

What is next? Bring your pocket dog to work day?

In which pocket dogs can see their master hard at work while they follow closely behind taking notes?

Taking notes alright. Surely to rule the world.

Dogs are just that people. Dogs. If you are going out, leave them at home. Stop freaking people out when they think they are looking into a stroller to see a sweet newborn and see your hairy mutt.

They are not meant for shopping. If you want to put something in a snugglie, have a baby. A real one, that will grown up to be a grown up.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-10-01T23:36:00.003-04:00

These are my loves.

They are the most incredible people in the whole wide world. They both love me regardless of how cranky I can be at times.

And... they adore each other.

They are also so completely in love with each other it is amazing. Speedy has never really had a proper father figure in her life. Her bio-sperm-donor-guy is a dead beat. He has been since before she was born when I would ask him to meet me at lamaze class and he would sleep through it. Call me about 3 hours after it was over and say 'oh sorry, I passed out.' Wish I was joking here.

I have been in 2 other long term relationships over the years but they never really fulfilled that void in her life.

Then along came Raspy and that was it.

Speedy loves our family date nights. Tonight the 3 of us went for movie night and saw Despicable Me. It was a great movie. We had a lovely time. I sat in the middle of 2 beautiful souls that held my hands.

Being me is pretty freaking incredible when I have those little moments of both my hands being held tight with love all throughout a movie.

*le sigh*

How was your Friday?

2010-09-27T15:59:00.002-04:00

Oh good. I am glad yours went well. Want to hear about mine?

I went into work for 10am as I always do. There was 3 of us on. It was a rather quiet mroning at work. Not too many customers. I was anxious to finish my shift for a fun filled weekend.

Shortly after 11 the phone rang. The manager from another store was looking for something and wondered how the product looked because a customer was interested in purchasing it. My sweet little manager (on duty), Barakus happily put her on hold to go check out the piece she was asking about.

Barakus is the store mom. She is just a tiny little thing. Sweet as pie. We love her.

She went to check the drawer and all I heard was *BANG* and "oh shit!". Barakus does not cuss so I knew this was bad.

There was a pedestal table stacked on top of 2 other Console tables that fell when she opened the drawer and hit her right in the head. She grabbed her head and there was blood.. A LOT of blood.

She went for the back room. I followed quickly behind her. I was on the phone with 911 as she held pressure to her head. I made her sit because I was afraid she would be standing and get dizzy and fall. One thing at a time.

The ambulance got there fairly quickly. They helped her out. Took her away. My coworker and I kept the store running while we waited for a replacement manager to come in.

I talked to her later that night. A total of 10 stitches later she was home. I was so worried about her. She was in great spirits and laughing about another guy in the ER.

Talk about a crazy morning. She is off work until Tuesday. I wont be letting her check any more furniture when she is back.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-09-25T16:20:00.002-04:00

Last night, boyfriend and i attended a games night party. We had a freaking blast. We helped out originally with ideas and bringing stuff (drinking + twister = TOO funny)

We had such a fun time. I love that anywhere we go, no matter if we know everyone or no one at all, we always have fun.

He is a shy man but in no time he warms up and everyone loves to socialize with that wonderful man of mine.

He even took part in a game... ok I might have voluntold him. But regardless it was fun.

Thank you for yet another amazing evening my love.

xo

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-09-18T02:02:00.004-04:00

Recently, Raspy and i took a trip down memory lane. His memory lane. He took me to the place where his cottage was growing up.

We brought a couple of chairs, grabbed some sandwiches and sat at the beach and laughed at the dog having the greatest time ever in the water.

We took a long walk. He showed me all the places and who lived where. Told me about the general store where he and his siblings bought candy. Showed me his old cottage. Even showed me where he learned to swim.

He laughed telling me stories about biking down roads and shooting golf balls in a cemetery.

Thank you my love for sharing your history with me. I love that you get so excited to share things like that with me and I enjoyed every minute of it.

I love you my prince xo

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-09-11T13:50:00.003-04:00

have i mentioned i love that man?

he is so wonderful and sweet.

it blows my mind how lucky i am to have him all the time.

he is so easy to love.

he has bitten the lay off bug in the ass and i could not be more proud. and in turn, he has a clean slate. a fresh start. he is happier. work is not just a giant ball of stress that drains him.

with the time he had off he was also able to figure out a more secure time for our move. looks like next summer is the time!

divorce is messy and annoying. but everything is falling into place now and this time next year we will be looking for a place if not moved in already.

we cant wait! (!!!)

i love you boyfriend. you are my perfect.

brutal honesty

2010-09-09T17:11:00.003-04:00

i find it amusing when i hear that people think that i put them down when they ask my opinion of something.

i do not put people down.

i am brutally honest.

BIG. DIFFERENCE.

i don't sugar coat and make things out to be all sunshine and ponies just because it is what you want to hear.

i tell you the honest truth.

it can be anything from "no that shirt really does make you look fat" to "are you fucking stupid? you cant afford your rent yet you get a puppy?"

maybe i can get a little rude. but i don't do that on purpose. i just don't think before i speak.

but regardless... would you rather look like shit with your new hair do or would you rather someone tell you before you leave that you look like a twit.

it tends to piss people off. and yet, if you know me, you know that i am like this and nothing will change that. i wont put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy for you when you are making the biggest mistake of your life just because everyone else is too afraid to make you cry or something by giving you an ear shot of the truth.

i say it how i see it.

and guess what... the truth hurts.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-09-04T18:21:00.001-04:00

baby. *giggles* thank you for loving me... even when i am shit faced.

that is all.

i love you

summer is wrapping up

2010-08-30T13:31:00.002-04:00

not only is summer coming to a fast end but in one week tomorrow my girl child will be starting Grade 7. that is junior high people!

*sigh*

where the hell does the time go. it seems like yesterday she was just a sweet little newborn in my arms and now she is just about as tall as me and going to junior high.

good thing about school starting is not having to pay a sitter. i work the hours she is gone so it doesnt cost me extra. i love our sitter but having to pay that out for 2 months really messes with my budget.

she had a great summer with them and is sad she wont be able to see them as often but she is also stoked to go back to school.

Speedy loves the structure of school. the socialization, the school work even. mind you with her learning delay she is not in a mainstream class. she is in a work at your own pace type class. her work ranges from grade 2 to grade 4 level depending on the subject.

she is attending a new school this year so i am a little worried about that. i always get scared when we have to start a new school. will she be ok? will mean kids pick on her? will i have to go there and open a can of whoop ass on someone? she has made out just fine the other times she has had to change schools so i will keep my fingers crossed this time will be the same.

my baby is not a baby anymore. *sigh*

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-08-28T01:54:00.003-04:00

*le sigh* tonight i was emailing a very sweet bloggy crush and telling her all about how i met my sweet prince.

thinking back to our first date got me all warm and mushy. thinking about the fireworks we had, the butterflies when i grabbed his gorgeous face and kissed his beautiful lips for the first time.

and i still get all silly when i see him. 2 years later.

thank you my love for being amazing. you are my best friend, my love, my prince, my knight in shinning armor.

you rode in over 2 years ago on your white horse (car *giggles*) and rescued me from a great but lonely life with no wonderful man to share it with

i love you.

that is all

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥ - a day late

2010-08-22T11:17:00.005-04:00

so yes.. i am a day late. i am sorry my love. we were busy :P

as you all know i have the most amazing man a girl could ever have.

and to top it off when he asked me what i wanted for my birthday this year i told him i wanted to extend my foot tattoo.
he said ok :D

so off we went on friday at 5pm to have it done... YAY

so this is the original with a really bad windows paint creation of what i kinda wanted it to look like.
of course, my artist is awesome and i knew he would make it INCREDIBLE and he did just that.

it is SO beautiful. i LOVE! and that is at the shop right as he was done.. so it was looking a little raw ;)

THANK YOU BOYFRIEND!!!!! you are the best man in the whole world. this was the BESTEST present (almost*) ever

(* - it gets an almost cause number one is def the ring he bought me last year *giggles*)

Birthday Shout out time! ♥

2010-08-17T00:55:00.002-04:00

a sweet skin showing pinup girl can only mean one thing....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RASPY!!!

My sweet Prince is the big 4-5 today!

he already has all the presents he needs in me.. but ill take him shopping.

Maybe get him some cool guy jeans *snickers* (not to be mistaken for skinny jeans cause no man of mine will wear those)

I love you babe. i hope you have the greatest birthday ever. and here is to the many more we will celebrate together.

xo

now go on, show the man some birthday love :)

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-08-14T12:26:00.003-04:00

first things first. click this. i am adding it to my sidebar. when bloggers are in need we come together.

now. done? thanks.

onto the love.

vacation was AMAZING. we had a blast. laughed until our bellies were sore. enjoyed every minute. and i did not want to come home. that week went way too fast.

Raspy, even though he was in a funk, was able to relax and have a great time. i knew he would.

Speedy played with her cousin til they were played out and snored like a bear every night.

Thanks for coming to meet my family boyfriend. they adore you, was there any doubt?

vacation/ early ♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-07-30T15:22:00.003-04:00

well its finally here. VACATION TIME!

although it is not going exactly according to plan, Raspy will be meeting us mid week because of some serious lay off action at his stupid work place.

but i dont care if he has to work at McDonald's asking people if they want fries with that. i love him for who he is and not what he does.

RA stepped up as the Raspy Replacement and will take Speedy and I up north to my cousins house. He is the bestest.

Tuesday Raspy will join us and we will have the rest of the week for R&R and good laughs. and beer. lots of beer.

I will check in from Sudbury i am sure. and there will always be random tweets i send from my crackberry.

have a great week all!

♪ ♫ Happy Birthday to ME! ♫ ♪

2010-07-26T00:10:00.004-04:00

Its after midnight here in Odot. so that means it is officially July 26th. best day ever because i was born this day!

i am officially 31. i have an amazing life. the perfect man, a super incredible girl child, a job i love and friends i adore.

best birthday present ever? .... just that.

now i hope that the birthday girl pin i wear tomorrow scores me free coffee. cause that would just add to the awesomeness :)

you can now proceed with the love giving

xo

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-07-25T01:13:00.002-04:00

today was the day. no more spots. all previous spots have scabbed over.. that is right people. we are POX FREE!

we celebrated with a beer run for vacation next week, supper, a visit with my godfather and then a visit with some friends.

let me tell you, most days i spend with my 2 loves are grand but today, after being cooped up with a sick girl for over a week.. today was AMAZING

we laughed, they giggled at my expense (those 2 are trouble together i tell you) and the entire day was just incredible.

i mean all days are but i think this one was that much better because we were isolation free.

cabin fever makes a person nutty you know.

i love my Raspy so much. he is so amazing. every inch of his being is just perfect.

a week today we will be gone. heading north to visit my family for a whole week of R&R and we are counting sleeps. all 3 of us.

this will be the longest week ever.

my life = perfect ♥

well.. its not a mosquito allergy!

2010-07-19T16:08:00.003-04:00

that is the good news! yay! cause that would have been a pain in the ass allergy really.

bad news.. its the chicken pox. i had to take her into the hospital over the weekend because she was lethargic and would barely eat. her ear was hurting and i was worried.

after 2 hours, a doctor and an infectious disease specialist we found out that she actually has a slow moving case of the chicken pox.

at least we know what the hell is going on now.

so we wait for this to stop. i have to keep her home until the spots stop forming and they have all blistered and crusted over

hopefully for her it is sooner then later because she is miserable.

they are in her throat, ear and that is what is causing her the pain :(

poor sick monkey

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-07-17T12:07:00.003-04:00

(speedy caught this heart shaped cloud when we went for a walk at the beginning of the week so i thought it was the perfect pic for this weeks post)

Boyfriend,

this week you took a leap and i could not be prouder of you.

i know you feel people are upset with you because of it, but it is a vicious circle if you dont stop it.

now you have showed them that you will no longer tolerate being treated like shit and too bad for them.

you mean the world to me, and what you did makes me love you that much more. i cannot thank you enough for standing up for what is right

i love you

2 weeks exactly and we are gone! YAHOO!! 1 whole week of R&R, no computer, no ringing phones, no demands. *SQUEE*

cause she doesnt have enough to deal with...

2010-07-14T21:48:00.003-04:00

between the tumor she had, the removal, the hemiparesis from tumor removal, the seizure disorder from scaring, the add and learning delay of about 4 years.

no of course that cannot be all we have to deal with.

we have something new!

wanna know what it is? i mean it could be worse yes.

this is just more of a pain in the ass for her.

Speedy now has developed...... *drumrolls* a severe allergic reaction to mosquitoes!

so every time she has gotten a bite as of late she blisters in that spot. blister pops and it starts to get infected (probably because she sweats like a maniac. it literally drips off her all the time). i have been using polysporin but i had to take her to the clinic today for possible strep (waiting on the swab results. they take 24 hours), so i showed the doc and she prescribed her a cream called Bactroban.

basically there is not a damn thing we can do about this other then use a lot of Off and hope she doesnt get a bite. i surely wont keep her locked inside. i might look into getting some afterbite and seeing if that helps.

i have also heard that taking a B vitamin ( i think its B1 but i am not 100%) regularly produces some odor that humans cant smell but mosquitoes can and it deters them. so ill try that also as long as that B complex wouldnt interfere with her seizure meds of course.

and if you are even more curious, i took a picture of two bites she had that blistered over. and i will show you.. im good like that.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-07-10T00:54:00.003-04:00

you know. over the last, many years, i have had a few long(ish) term relationships. none of which ever really i could say that i saw growing old with.

i never saw the white picket fence with them. or the rocking chairs on the porch.

i truly saw me and speedy getting on with life and they were but a faded memory.

then i met Raspy.

now i have white picket fence dreams. and they are incredible. dreams of laughter and smiles and lots of love. seeing our children hit adult milestones and watching our grandchildren.

life isnt so scary when you find the one.

its actually pretty freaking incredible.

sexual assault victim asked to wait

2010-07-07T16:31:00.002-04:00

over the weekend a woman here was sexually assaulted. she did the right thing and called the cops who took her to the emergency room to have a rape kit done. she was turned away. asked to go to another hospital an hour away or wait.

here is the story.

The gap in service that forced an Ottawa sexual assault victim to travel to Renfrew for treatment is a provincewide problem, according to experts in the field.
Last Sunday, police brought a woman to the emergency room of the Civic campus of The Ottawa Hospital, home to Ottawa's only provincially-designated program for sexual assault cases.
It's one of 35 centres across Ontario providing specialized care and counselling to victims in the aftermath of an assault, including the preparation of evidence kits for prosecutions. As detailed in a lengthy 2006 protocol with the police and community groups, the hospital's Sexual Assault and Partner Abuse Care Program is to provide care "24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year."
That's not what happened last Sunday.
None of the hospital's sexual assault nurses were available on Sunday, says Mike Tierney, vice-president of clinical programs at The Ottawa Hospital.
The patient was given the option of going home and returning later for treatment, or seeking treatment at the hospital in Renfrew.
"We were grateful the police were able to bring the individual to the hospital in Renfrew," Tierney said Tuesday. "I regret that this has happened; I feel for the individual and for the community," he added.
"They have the right to expect this kind of service in Ottawa. It's unfortunate. We're sorry for that."
Madeleine Meilleur, MPP for Ottawa-Vanier and the Minister of Community and Social Services, applauded the hospital for apologizing to the victim.
"It's not unreasonable for a victim of sexual assault to expect prompt care," Meilleur said. "In a town of almost a million people, I think that it's reasonable to expect that we have someone with that expertise seven days a week, 24 hours a day.
"I'm sure the hospital is reviewing their plan."
The sexual assault program requires nurses with specialized training, and hospitals depend on temporary nurses to staff the centres, not full-time employees. The nurses take shifts in other units and at other hospitals as well, and aren't always available. Tierney said The Ottawa Hospital would like to have a roster of about 15 nurses to call on, but currently it was about half of that.
"That's part of our challenge: Having the nurses available to take the calls for our program when they also may be working at another full-time (job) elsewhere," Tierney said. "Being on call is no guarantee of worked hours for them."
Sheila Macdonald, provincial co-ordinator for the ministry's 35 sexual assault and domestic violence treatment centres, says the pay for being on call is just $3.20 an hour unless the nurse is called in to work on a case, in which case the rate jumps. Nurses increasingly are opting to take more lucrative and more certain work elsewhere.
"What happened in Ottawa does happen elsewhere," Macdonald said. "Nurses aren't staying long enough -- they just can't afford to."
The training to become a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) prepares nurses to collect and document evidence, provide counselling to the victim and give testimony in the judicial process. The training is funded by the provincial Ministry of Health, but the nurses' salaries are paid out of the hospital's operating budget.
Tierney said the Ottawa program treated an average of 35 to 45 sexual assault cases a month. The Ottawa program has been "particularly challenged" by staffing shortages in the last three weeks, Tierney added.
"I know there have been other incidents where we have not been able to see the patient until the following day or they have been referred to other centres," Tierney said. "I don't know how often, but it would be just a few times."
Concillia Muonde of the Sexual Assault Support Centre says the hospital usually provides good care, but the recent incident sends the wrong message to the community.
"Are they saying, 'If this happens to you, you can count on us?' No. They're saying it's too bad for you if you get raped on a long weekend, when we won't have someone available to provide this service to you."
Muonde wants the hospital to expand its roster of trained nurses and look at having full-time staff members in other units trained to respond if an on-call nurse cannot be located. Asking a victim to come back the next day is asking too much, given the courage it takes to seek help after the trauma of an assault, and the necessity to protect evidence on the body of the victim, Muonde said.
"Things like taking a shower and going to the bathroom ... compromise the evidence, but when someone has violated your body, you just want to wash it off," Muonde said.
"The decision to go to the hospital is a big decision. No one should be asked to make that decision twice."
Muonde's organization wrote to the hospital a month ago after "one or two" clients told them they were unable to receive treatment at the Civic. The hospital's response was apologetic and spoke to the staffing issue, Muonde said, adding that the hospital could have warned the police and community partners that service levels were unreliable.
Tierney said the hospital was reviewing its program and looking for ways to address the staffing issue, and meeting with the Ottawa police.
The number of sexual assaults typically rises in the summer and fall, said Sandy Onyalo, executive director of the Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre. "Between now and the beginning of October, many women are going to be assaulted," Onyalo said. "We need to pay attention to this."

Read more: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/technology/Sexual+assault+victim+sent+Renfrew/3243622/story.html#ixzz0t1xaUlrW

this blows my mind. have more trained staff. yeah i get it costs money but this poor woman is told to go an hour away or to wait a day and not shower. im sure the last thing she wants to do is have to lie and wait in the filth and emotions. or have to travel.

and how the hell is it that Renfrew has trained staff which is a little town but we, a huge city have no one.

i hope to hell that bringing it to the media's attention will kick someone in the ass and make this problem better.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-07-03T13:40:00.003-04:00

the man is gone today and some of tomorrow. Baseball tournamnt. boo.

last night he told me he watched a movie. he said it was us. and i had to watch it.

it was called 'she's out of my league'

in a nutshell, dorky guy meets perfect girl and thinks it wont happen because he is a 5 and she is a 10.. but it does.

it was a fucking funny movie. i laughed my fool head off watching it.

then i giggled because im far from a 10.. well ok pretty close. but in Raspy's eyes i am. i am his perfect.

little does he know i see him as the perfect. we fell in love in a starbucks and i have not turned back since.

baby, you are my 10. i love you.

Speedy - the grade 6 graduate :)

2010-06-28T16:42:00.002-04:00

as promised here are the pics from her graduation ceremony. not only did she graduate elementary school she even won an award!

im so proud of her. she has beaten the odds so much in her wee life and now look at her.. on to junior high.

oh god. junior high.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-06-26T14:48:00.004-04:00

why is he the most amazing man ever you ask?

not only is he cute and sweet and thoughtful and funny.

he was not able to get time off work for Speedy's Grade 6 graduation (pics to come i promise)

so he did the next best thing.

Speedy got her first flower delivery ♥

how cute is that? *sigh* i love him

Pass the wine, Mommy needs a drink

2010-06-22T16:22:00.003-04:00

the day has arrived. my baby isnt a baby anymore. i read on the net i am supposed to celebrate her step into womanhood. you know the pain in the ass bleeding, cramps, headaches and all the other fun things that come with this lovely gift.

i mean, i knew it was coming. but she is my baby. i was living quite happily in denial land.

i love denial land. its a great place. lots of ponies and rainbows there.

*face palms*

my sweet Speedy has officially joined the Period Club all us women hate to say we are a part of. *sigh*

wasnt she just born like yesterday?

i need a hug. and a stiff drink

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-06-19T15:22:00.003-04:00

i am sitting here having a smoke while my 2 favorite people in the whole world are in the living room, tv is full blast, they are laughing their fool heads off and singing along with Family guy to this

i love them.

a lot.

even though they are mental.

anyways.. do you know about the bird? cause everybody knows that the bird is the word. ♪ ♫

Speedy had her surgery

2010-06-18T13:44:00.002-04:00

well they took out a total of 5 teeth. that means a whole 10$ from the tooth fairy!

she is groggy. relaxing on the pull out couch.

it was an ordeal though.

we had got out of there in about 2.5 hours.

ran to get prescriptions, ice cream, freezies and applesauce.

got home. stuff in the fridge. *phew*

then she said 'mom?' and she pointed to her mouth.

seems that when she pulled the gauze out, it hooked on to one of the brackets of her braces and popped the wire out. so the wire was sticking right into her cheek. a good 2 inches of it.

damn.

got on the phone. called the ortho office. our ortho wasnt there but one of the dentists will help. we had to go right away or later. later was no good cause she is drunk off the meds and mom was here now to drive.

so we left, again. got there. they cut the wire and re-gauzed her and sent us on our way.

*phew* that is done.

now she is happily watching tv, stoned, and playing DS.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-06-12T00:08:00.002-04:00

Boyfriend.

i love you. Speedy loves you. the cat loves you. we all just love you.

and you love us.

and that amazes me each and every day.

especially when i had to be at a funeral tonight with her sperm donors family and see just how little they ask about her when they have not seen her for MONTHS. and then she tells them all how awesome you are.

she blows my mind with the love she has for you. its as much as i have for you. and you her.

it makes me smile like a fool.

i love you.

Girlfriend.

daycare rant

2010-06-07T16:28:00.003-04:00

i get a little annoyed at the amount of people in this city that have their children in daycare for absolutely no reason at all. they collect a city cheque, do not work, but yet drop their child off at daycare every morning and pick them up every afternoon.

there is a waiting list for daycare, fine. i get that. but at some point should someone not keep tabs on stuff like this and tell these parents to, i dont know, do something crazy like... parent their own fucking kids.

i mean a couple of weeks if you're in between jobs i can understand. but i know of people whos kids have been in daycare for over a year and they have not worked that entire time.

am i, and a small handful of SAHM friends, the only people that actually know that caring for your own kids is the best thing for them rather then pawning them off on some strangers with no one on one time. and for what. so the parent can go home, go back to bed, smoke some dope, maybe hit the gym and continue their career as a professional internet surfer that yields a gross income of zilch.

i just dont get it. Speedy was never in a day care. even if i wanted her to be she couldnt have at the time because they did not take kids with special needs. i would h ave had to send her to a special one that would have cost one hell of a lot more then i would have brought in.

i stayed home with her and raised her to the best of my ability until she was in school full time and i dont regret that for a second.

and if all these people that do nothing all day other then bring their kids to daycare and back were to take them out and do that crazy parenting thing i spoke of, wouldnt, in turn, the waiting lists be smaller if not disappear completely?

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-06-05T01:13:00.002-04:00

well. the punishment was too much for sweet Raspy to take and he took me to Ikea tonight. he told me at the beginning of the week he was taking me Friday. i know his game. if he took me friday, punishment would be over and all in perfect time for me to tell the world how much i love him.

well your plan worked my love because here it is.

but i do have to say. that was the FASTEST trip to Ikea i have ever had in my freaking like. i would get dazzled by swedish delights and he and speedy would bolt. they know full well i am going to want to catch up to them so they kept going. i think we went thru the whole mouse maze in about 10 mins.

little shits.

'i hate shopping' and 'mom, lets go already' is about all i heard from them the whole time.

i have warned them that next time i will be dropping them off at the restaurant to eat supper while i peruse. i think that is the best laid plan.

but i went. i am happy. and i love every inch of that mans being. not a day goes by where i dont thank who ever will listen for blessing me with him.

I love you Boyfriend

and i forgot again

2010-05-28T15:42:00.004-04:00

the picture of Speedys braces.

but here it is now! better late then never :)

click it to big it.

its amazing how they changed so much in such a short period of time.

♥non-Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-05-22T02:52:00.001-04:00

nope. you are still punished.

*whispers* i love you as big as the entire freaking universe

*giggles and runs away*

awsome friends cheer you up with a kitchen fire ball

2010-05-18T07:30:00.001-04:00

so yesterday i got a call from Trucker Pete. she was adamant about coming over after work cause she had something to talk to me about. after the day i had been having i welcomed the company.

then when i got to thinking, i thought maybe she she was going to tell me that after all the trying they finally got pregnant.

that would certainly make for a better day.

so she and her husband, Resident Asshole, showed up at my door about 5 mins after i had finished supper.

it seems he read my blog and knew i was having a rough day.(i told him this will make him no longer an asshole. he says he was cause he knew i would cry which would make his wife cry and he would laugh at us... he lies. )

they showed up here with a birthday cake... for my dad. with 66 candles on it.

i saw the cake and threw my hands over my eyes cause i just started to cry. and sort of laugh. it was one of those weird mixed emotions moment.

RA thought it would be funny to put all the candles together. he was quite proud that he counted them all and stuck them in and it was most certainly 66.

well and of course a birthday celebration is not complete without lighting of the candles right.. yes they were lit. briefly.. and long enough for me to snap a couple of pics for every ones enjoyment because who the hell would believe this contained fire ball in my kitchen

here you can see the ice cream cone icing starting to melt..

are you seeing this height? this is where i wondered if my smoke detector would go off and if there were black marks on my ceiling.. thank you stove fan for sucking all that smoke up.

its at this point we blew them out, quickly, and laughed that the cake probably just re-baked.

and finally i give you the giant mess of wax, which when cooled, almost came off in one perfect chunk. all the candles just sort of melted together.

after a good laugh we all sat and enjoyed cake for my dad. it was a sweet sugary cake that he would have loved even though it was a big no-no for him. he would have told nurses hes allowed to have over the top blood sugar levels on his birthday.

i have awesome friends. i love them.. its why they are family to me. thanks guys. xoxo

and even though you arent cool enough to provide kitchen fire balls, thank you to all my bloggy friends for the love yesterday.. it put a smile on my face and made it just a bit easier. xoxoxoxoxo

May 17

2010-05-17T09:36:00.002-04:00

today would be my dads 66th birthday. today is the first birthday i cant call him. the first year i dont run to zellers to get his black everlast 3 pack of underwear and a 6 pack of grey wool socks. its all the guy ever wanted.

he had everything so that would keep him happy.

i would also grab him a bag of diabetic friendly candies to satisfy his sweet tooth. he loved when i took off to sugar mountain and hit up the sugar free gummi section.

i miss him. i miss his calls to Speedy. she loved that. i miss him randomly showing up at my door 3 times a week for coffee.

i cannot bring myself to erase his number from my cell phone.

he would sit at my house and ramble about my Young and the Restless. 'this is all true eh?' he would joke. i would say yes and its very important. we would laugh and he would tell speedy her mother is nuts.

my life with him was not an easy one. but in the end it was good.

tears rolling down my face as i sit here i am trying to not lose my shit completely because i have to go to work and i will look like a red swollen mess if i do.

Happy Birthday Dad. Je t'aime beaucoup.... Comme dix maisons.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-05-16T03:56:00.002-04:00

nope. i am cutting you off baby. i know you love when i gush about you to blogland and it is not happening until..........

............. you take me to Ikea.

if this is the length i have to go to in order to get there then so be it.

when i get to Ikea, i will resume the puke worthy love fest.

until then i will NOT tell blogland how much i love you, or how sweet you are or just how very much i adore you and how perfect you are in my life. not. happening.

so there.

PS: i love you bigger then the world.

bringing sexy back.. with a wrist brace

2010-05-11T16:39:00.003-04:00

i woke up mothers day morning with some pain. pain in my wrist and some periodic numbness in my thumb. i figured i slept weird and that is probably the reason and it should go away.

monday, i go to work and come home in even more pain with more numbmess and the every once in a while twinge that shoots up my arm.

with advil i slept like crap.

today went to work and could barely do anything. i was going insane

i decided to cut out early and head for the clinic. my doc was fully booked but his associate was doing walkin's so i took off.

seems my right wrist has decided to develop some tendonitis and the reason im not getting better but worse is because i am doing too much with it.

no. at work. get your minds out of the gutter.

so now i have a sexy black wrist brace to wear and have to keep it on 24/7 really for at least a couple weeks and do light duties at work. no lifting heavy stuff. cause i will make it worse and have to go for physio.

i dont have time for physio.

i do wish i had a bedazzler though cause i would bling this bitch out

anyone got a spare bedazzler they want to loan me? that is if you can live without it that long :P

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-05-08T19:43:00.003-04:00

there is nothing better then dedicating a 70s disco song to the one you love and knowing he knows and probably loves the song and will turn it up when i attach the youtube url ;)

The first, the last, my everything
And the answer to all my dreams
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are
I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two
You're all I'm living for
Your love I'll keep for evermore
You're the first, your the last, my everything

And with you I've found so many things
A love so new only you could bring
Can't you see it's you
You make me feel this way
You're like a fresh morning dew on a brand new day
I see so many ways that I
Can love you till the day I die
You're my reality, yet I'm lost in a-a-a a dream
You're the first, the last, my everything

I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two
Girl you're my reality
But I'm lost in a-a-a a dream
You're the first, you're the last, my everything

The Church of Bret must continue

2010-05-04T20:34:00.002-04:00

in the off chance you have been living under a rock, then you wouldnt know that our Rockin savior Bret Michaels suffered a very serious brain hemorrhage. it was touch and go for a while

i know these things because i am an avid follower of his on Twitter and Facebook.

seems that in the press conference held today they announced he would be ok.

now this is just hear say that i found on google cause his site is not updated as of yet.

i am going to hope that it is tru though because he needs to finally make it to canada.. hopefully.. Bret.. please.. when youre better?

i need to check off 'making out with Bret' from my bucket list. yes Raspy approves.. DUH. we pray to this guy for awesomness

let us pray children.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-05-01T03:10:00.002-04:00

oh that man of mine. every day that passes i love him more. its ridiculous and totally puke worthy but its true.

we can laugh, talk, even just a quick tired text is full of love and sweetness.

he is my perfect.

he is everything i could ever dream of and then some.

i dont now what angel sent him to me but i would like to thank him or her.

i truly never EVER thought i could ever meet such a man in my wildest dreams.

*le sigh*

i loves him

Anxiety - The go to diagnosis for the lazy?

2010-04-29T10:40:00.003-04:00

i have noticed more and more people using the anxiety excuse for not doing things.

but these same people who cannot take a bus, for example, because of their anxiety can work in a public place. or they can go to a concert, or a huge party, bar, pretty much anywhere there are many people and youre surely to feel more anxious and claustrophobic.

or the opposite, they can take a packed bus at rush hour but cant work because 'ill have an attack'

i really dont get it.

maybe im ignorant but if that is the reason you cannot do something, should it not affect all aspects of your life rather then the ones you choose for it to. as an outsider i see it as said person cant be bothered taking a smelly bus so use the anxiety line and get out of it. or they dont want to work so they use the anxiety line and get out of it.

and with such a tricky little thing there is really no certain way to diagnose it. the doc can prescribe you meds and give you a note to get off work on short or long term disability and blammo!

now i have dealt with my fair share of anxiety in the past. when my dad was ill, mom had cancer and i was working a job with rotating whacko shifts where i barely got to see my daughter. that caused some serious stress on my system. i left work yes but it was because something had to go and caring for my sick parents was more important. obviously.

once they were better, i quit the whacko shifts job and found one that would fit my schedule and time with my child. and i have been there ever since.

but in no way did i ever use that as an excuse not to take a bus or get a job.

i just dont really get it.

if you can explain then great. if you can tell me why its ok to go to one place versus another when both are equally packed with people but the people excuse is what is given that causes the anxiety then i will retract my lazy statement.

discuss.

'yes ill take a stiff drink please'

2010-04-27T09:00:00.001-04:00

so my sweet 11 year old Speedy told me the other night while giggling and sitting on the toilet that there was hair on her parts.

i told her she was full of shit.

she has played this joke before and it was just a random cat hair.

she can be a funny one that punk of mine.

'no for real! come see!'

again i told her she was full of it and it was probably just a cat hair.

after the third time she asked me to see i went to see.

and there it was.

a wee tuft of downy pubic hair.

GAH!

im not ready for this!

ok, i know she has been .. well .. blossoming in the chest area. but she is my offspring. she has worn a sports bra for a couple years. (but her cute little baby nipples are no more and now they are turning in to more lady ones.. ugh)

and she has had to start using deodorant since the warm weather has hit because what was just sweat is now smelly sweat.

but now hair! on her girly bits! i dont know if i can take this..

cant she just start going backwards?

i liked the 7 to 9 years.. no hair. no smells. no boobs.

*facepalms*

she laughed her head off and said 'im like a little lady! just like you!' and skipped off to her bedroom.

pass the vodka.

Happy 2 Years My Love!!

2010-04-26T00:09:00.004-04:00

“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”
~ Richard Bach

HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY MY SWEET PRINCE! I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE EACH AND EVERY DAY.

XOXO

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥ 2nd Anniversary Edition

2010-04-24T01:47:00.003-04:00

well friends, 2 years has gone by in a flash. its all started here when i told you about the most incredible date i had been on.

my goodness it seems like yesterday.. Raspy told me time flies when you love someone.. that was his insightful jabber for the day one day this week.

you know, when i saw his beautiful face on that facebook app profile i knew i had to meet him. i was drawn to him like a fat kid on a smartie. he had to be mine.

i was bold, i told him he was beautiful. the shy guy could get shy behind the computer screen.

we talked like we had known eachother forever and a day from that point onward. and it has never stopped.
then a year came and went. and still just as happy as ever.

here we are 2 years later. so in love. so excited to get a home together and be a real family. if we can financially get it together, it will be this year.. real soon. i cant wait. nor can he. no more running back and forth for the kids, no more sitters. we will be together under one roof.

our actual anniversary is Monday but the Londonite was kind enough to take Speedy (yeah right, she loves when Speedy is there cause she entertains her girls and the baby :P THANK YOU SO MUCH WIFE!! YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!) so tonight was date night.

we decided last year we would go back to where it began ever year at this time. and we did so again tonight. pizza, beer, playoff hockey. and we had tagalongs tonight! A and Super J joined us for dinner.

we didnt mind. we had time after to come home and have some serious adult time so we had no problems with them coming with for supper.
just 2.5 years ago had someone told me i was going to meet the man of my dreams on a facebook app of all places i would have told them they were mental.

but i did. and he is. and we are... perfect

Happy 2 years baby! I love you to bits! xoxox

Beta Blockers

2010-04-22T20:01:00.002-04:00

so after the holter ordeal i had my appointment today to find out what the hell is happening with this whole heart palpitations waking me from my sleep business.

i was also supposed to get results from an ultrasound i had done on my legs to check how varicose my veins are but it seems the lab that did those never sent the results. great.

so. it seems that my ecg and holter read fine. mind you, i did not experience the retarded palpitations that night i had the stupid thing on. its almost like i would have to wear it for a week or something.

he said medically im fine. nothing is off.

i said ok.. well what the hell/

he said it could be anything. a dream, just my heart being mental. who the hell knows.

so at this point he said he can prescribe me beta blockers. so he sent me home with a prescription and told me to take half a pill at supper time.

i didnt go fill it cause my love was here and we had just under an hour before speedy came home. we were taking advantage of that ;) and to be honest i was just too lazy to go this evening. ill go over the weekend.

i dont know anyone that has been on a beta blocker so i dont know what to expect. i can read up on it, and i did, but as always they list every side effect possible so who the hell knows.

anyone out there have words? experience? i would appreciate it :)

my iron was also reading a little low so he wants me on iron for 6 months. no biggie. bring on the rabbit turds LOL

Speedys Braces

2010-04-19T23:26:00.004-04:00

if you remember, i told you that my girl needed braces.

well it seems this mother of the year forgot all about posting her picture here with the first half on.. oops!

but i did get it straight onto facebook if that counts or anything
the ortho was pleased at how well she did during the process. by the end she was tired and tender but was pretty stoked about her job well done.

i promised her ice cream and jello when we got home. she opted for the ice cream.
the ortho set out to do it in 2 appointments because Speedy moves alot (she has uncontrolled movement in her right hand - Chorea - which, in turn, causes her to wiggle a lot, especially when she has to try and hold still. there is no holding still in our world unless she is sleeping)

so the next appointment is next week where she will have the top tightened and the bottoms put on. she has been pretty good about brushing.. not so great with the flossing but the gaps she has are big enough that the pine cone brush gets in there, and she thinks that little thing is pretty cool.

after that, its onto surgery for removal of all leftover baby teeth and starting to chain adult teeth that arent moving the way they should be in hopes we can save most of them *fingers crossed*

next week ill have a full mouth pic and ill actually put it up not a month later ;)

(like the bed head? LOL that is how much she moves.. her pony tail blew out while on the chair *giggles*)

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-04-18T01:52:00.004-04:00

a way back in October, i was in a wedding.. i am sure you remember.. if you dont.. well i just told you again. :P

anyhoo, the professional pics are finally in from this day.

although its about the bride, i do have to say that i looked fucking fab.

as i walked into the church on the arm of my groomsman, i saw my loves.

there were Raspy and Speedy in the church.. both smiling from ear to ear at just how lovely mom/girlfriend was at that moment.. (Raspy even told me he has tears in his eyes at just how pretty i was *giggles*)

and at that moment i smiled over at them and i winked. cause i had to acknowledge in a silent way.

well didnt the photog get the wink on snap!

i was so excited when i saw this exact moment captured on film where i sent my sweet loves some love (i cropped out the groomsman just cause its all about me :P)

i also saw the perfect opportunity that day to get a pro to snap our wee family in our matching green.. and THE most amazing shot ever came of it.
*sigh* i love my family. i love my Raspberry. I love my Speedy. my life is so beyond perfect. it just blows my mind that i can be this blessed.. really it does.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-04-11T02:16:00.003-04:00

sometimes, once in a blue moon, the crude bitch in me comes out. baby, im sorry it was to you.

i do feel horrible about it.

really horrible.

i know you are going to say don't. but i still do.. so there :P

i love you my sweet prince.

I don't know what I was thinking
'Til I was thinking of you
I don't remember a thing before I opened my eyes
And you came into view
I don't know what I was doing
When there was nothing to do
Must've been waiting for someone, baby

Now I can see - I was waiting for you

CHORUS

I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't wanna be me
If I didn't have you

Driving myself to distraction
Until you got in my way
I was just whistling Dixie 'til you struck up the band
And they started to play
I don't know how I was living
Until you came in my life
I always knew there was something wrong
Then you came along Baby, you made it right

CHORUS

I was alone in the silence
'Til I was hearing your voice
I couldn't see my way clear until you parted the clouds
And you gave me a choice
I couldn't pick up the pieces
'Til I was falling apart
I didn't know I was bleeding
'Til your love fixed this hole, baby, here in my heart

I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's no place that I'd rather be
This life without you would be hollow
This love is a gift, and you gave it to me
All that I am, you have made me
And baby, I know that it's true
I'd give it all up in a heartbeat
Just to spend every moment with you
There's no place that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't wanna be me
If I didn't have you

~Amanda Marshall~

the lab tech wants me to what?!

2010-04-08T23:15:00.011-04:00

so i had to go in this morning to get a Holter monitor put on for 24 hours. basically i have been having these weird heart palpitations and tightening in my chest which was once believed to be anxiety attacks but i really think its something else.

the fluttering my heart does scares the ever loving crap out of me and so i told my doc.

so it seems there is only one of these monitors at the lab in this end and you have to make an appointment to get it. ok. no problem.

i called about 3 weeks back and got the appointment. while i was on the phone i asked the woman if there was anything i should know, any special instructions, anything. she said 'no just be here for 9:30 and we set you up and you go about your day'.

perfect. so this morning i got up, showered, got dressed for work and then took off for the lab.

i got there. the tech told me to undress from the waist up. no problem. he then proceeded to tell me that i cannot wear a bra while i have this on.

'im sorry, WHAT?! not possible' was the exact words i used. i told him i am going to work and that i work retail and i cant very well have my tits flying in the wind while i am trying to reach something for a customer.

god, imagine i had to run for the phone? i would knock myself out.

'sure i can reach that pillow from the top shelf ma'am.. oh shit sorry bout my tit whacking you there.'

it seems that the lab assumes that the doctor tells the patient this stuff. but i also told this guy i asked on the phone. he said 'well i cannot ask you what size breasts you have'. i said 'im not saying that. if i was a small B i could go without a bra and it would not really matter. but DD's need support and knowing i am a female when you talk to me you should in turn say something along the lines of 'be sure to not wear an underwire bra when you come'

it seems the wires could possibly make the reading glitchy. i could have gotten it done and told the doc i had the bra on or i could have rescheduled and would have had to wait at least another month or so.

yeah ill take it now thanks.

ill tell you this though, i am going to write to Gamma-Dynacare and put in a word of advice they should present to female clients. i mean when i am supposed to go about my regular day to get an accurate reading that means going to work and i sure as hell cannot do that sans bra. had they have told me i could have worn a sports bra.

i tried to find a picture of the Holter i have on but it seems google just has the older ones with many leads. mine only has 4 leads and is about the size of a pager. so i took a couple pics. there is no nipple.. so don't fret. they are G rated

if you click the pic you get a better idea of what the hell i am wearing. its rather annoying and sleep should prove interesting cause the holder goes around my neck, across my shoulders and then back under my boobs where its tied up.

people watching

2010-04-06T20:08:00.002-04:00

i am an avid people watcher. i don't know why. i just am. i guess im nosy and i like to know what others are doing even when i don't know them.

my people watching has found something ~~gross~~ interesting over the last little while.

i have noticed more and more people, young people, with summer teeth*.

and im talking very young. like high school kids. now i understand they play sports and they might get knocked out that way. or scrapping or whatever. but jesus.

wouldn't you want to get that fixed? if a front tooth of mine got knocked out i would be running to the dentist as fast as i can and whore myself on the corners along the way if i couldn't afford it.

just sayin.

it seems kids somehow think this is cool.

i dont get it.

then i see other kids kissing these summer teeth kids and it makes me puke a little in my mouth.

blech.

there is one in the building that i know with summer teeth. after about a month of seeing his partial toothy grin i said 'hey! what happened to your tooth?'

he told me it got knocked out in a game.

i said 'and you didnt bother to get it fixed?'

'nah. why?'

i responded with a uh.. ok when i really wanted to go off about how he doesnt look cool, he looks like an idiot and all his teeth are going to shift and take over that spot so when he actually wants to get it fixed its going to be a hell of orthodontics and surgery and one hell of a lot more money then it would have cost for the one little tooth.

morons.

*summer teeth: missing teeth. as in some are here and some are there.

the bitch strikes again.

2010-04-04T22:46:00.002-04:00

so i find out an old friend works at the grocery store. long story short he went to my moms place to help them out with their tv, on the way out sees my pic on the wall and sayd 'omg! that is jobthingy! why is she there?'

the moms explain that i am the daughter and mom tells me and i add him to crackbook.

so that is good. i like reconnecting with old friends.

then i see he is single. well the Londonite is also single. so i decide to play a little matchmaker. its going incredibly well for the record :)

but i was blown away. see this guy, shit he needs a name. Talky Talkerson. lol. yep. that is perfect. cause he doesnt shut up once hes had a few.

so Talky Talkerson hangs out with one of my cousins. they have been friends for many, MANY years and we realized this quite some time ago and were shocked at how its such a small world.

so my cousin and he still talk on occasion. not as much as they used to. but once in a while they catch up over a beer.

this cousin is also the one that hangs out with my cunt of a sister. they smoke dope together regularly. so he hears her side of what kind of person i am and assumes she is correct.

so it seems that Talky Talkerson had informed cousin that he started talking to Londonite and he was really pleased at how the conversation flowed and that he was excited to meet her in person.

cousin asks how he met her. Talky says through me. and cousin immediately tells him to 'watch out' and 'be careful man' and basically he shouldnt trust anything from me.

never mind that they are both single, get along great, have more in common that i even knew.

no. but because the cunt weedwhore says i am a super bitch then i must only hang out with super bitches also.

of course my friends are sober and have a head on their shoulders but i guess in the dope smokers world that means fuck all.

i really wish she would drop off the face of the earth with her bullshit.

thankfully Talky Talkerson was not taking what he said at face value and told him he can make his own decisions. but the point is that my cousin really, has no clue as to what kind of person i am. not a one. he knows only the lies the cunt makes up about me.

people really should form their own fucking opinions and not go by those of addicts/theifs.

fuck people are stupid

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-04-03T02:28:00.007-04:00

well Tremblant was fun. but not as much fun as i would have had with Raspy there. but.... when Raspy isnt there, we improvise.

i talk about him every minute i can. i think about him every second of the day. and when he cant be there for pictures, we photoshop! (i do have WAY more pics then this, obviously. but i will share those with you this week when i have a minute to throw them into a slide show.)

baby, although photoshopping you into pics was an absolute riot, i do wish you were there and that is why the first pic was actually a plan, while there. 'lets take a pic like this and put Raspy in it!' A and I told Super J
but then the giggles started and that is how he ended up in the deer shot and in the hot tub.

but all that to say, babe, without you, im sad. no more non-raspy trips for me. its all or nothing. i love you

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-03-27T09:00:00.000-04:00

well i am in tremblant right now. (thank you autopost) and i am sure i am having a good time. but, Raspy's stupid work place did not allow him the weekend off so i am flying solo with the friends.

and it sucks.

i want him to leave work tonight and come up. just to sleep beside me. but more and more its looking like that is not going to happen. unless he leaves work and drinks a red bu.... wait.

there is an idea! baby! get a red bull and come out! it should last you the drive!

please oh please! i dont care if its 2am. red bull will give you wings.

im trying here. *grumbles* i really hate his work sometimes. REALLY.

but i love him so i put up with it and bitch a lot *giggles*

have a good weekend!

Life.. or something like it.. part 6

2010-03-22T20:33:00.002-04:00

after about 6 months of not speaking with my father things were good.

i also was not speaking to my sister. what else is new.

i then, out of no where got a call from my mom saying something was wrong and she thought i should call the cunt. it seems the stupid fucking moron got a call from my dad fairly early in the morning, about 8am, saying that he couldnt get up from the floor in the bathroom and could she come home. (yes i know this cause the dumb bitch told me all this)

she proceeded to continue smoking dope with her buddies until about 1pm and then finally go to see what was wrong with him.

by this point he had shit himself, pissed all over and she was mad she had to clean it up. she somehow managed to get him in bed. i had called to see what hospital he was going to be at. she asked why.

yes really.

i said 'i dont know, the man couldnt get off the floor for hours, i can hear him yelling nonsense in the background, you dont think maybe he should be checked for stroke?'

'he doesnt want to see anyone at the hospital. i cant make him go'

i told her he HAD to see someone whether he liked it or not. she said she would try but there was no way she could promise.

never mind the fact that she could just call an ambulance. no, that would be too simple.

at 6pm i called back only to find out she still had not bothered to call an ambulance. i was fed up. i didnt care if we were not talking, it wasnt right and like hell i was going to let him just be stubborn.

at the time i was with my ex who drove me there and kept speedy entertained in the living room while i went and spoke to me dad. he was lethargic, couldnt really move much and not making much sense. i tolsd him i was calling an ambulance. he told me off. i told him i didnt give a shit what he had to say, an ambulance was coming and THEY would decide whether or not he could stay there in his bed.

sure shit, the paramedics came, my sister had fucked off by this point and i was left to deal with them asking me why this happened early this morning, why the call was just put in now and what happened. i could only answer so much because the cunt wasnt there.

he had suffered a pretty major stroke and would be in the hospital for a while. when he was admitted i went up every couple of days to check on him. my cunt sister would call me in between that saying i had better come down because he was dying. i must have gotten this tearful blubbering cry about a dozen times in that hospital stay.

i would get the call from her, go to the hospital, talk to a dr who would tell me no one said anything even remotely close to that and then i would go home and it would start again. i guess her smoked out brain was making things up. or hearing what it wanted.

after him being there just over a week i noticed she had not bothered to bring him socks and underwear. i had left a message for her to do so and she didnt bother. she seemed to not think it as being necessary. the man always had cold feet and liked to keep his private parts private with a pair of black everlasts. that is all he would want.

i made a point to go out and buy him socks and underwear as well as a care package of mouthwash, toothpaste, toothbrush, comb and baby powder. all the things he would like. he was thrilled and asked me not to do that. i said it seemed no one else was.

when i went back up 2 days after bringing that stuff there, it was gone. i asked where it all went and the cunt told him he didnt need it and she was taking it home. i, in turn started taking socks home to wash and replacing them with fresh ones i had bought to keep with me. same with the underwear.

it seems even though she was the perfect child she could care less of her fathers care while in hospital.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥ - a day late

2010-03-21T12:41:00.004-04:00

Raspy has a 17 year old son. he thinks he pretty gangsta. Raspy and i giggle about this often.

Son decided that Raspy's gangsta name is B-Fizzle. *snickers*

we have laughed about this often and for a while now.

Last night a slew of us went out. Alex was down, it was Super J's bday. we were having a great time. laughing it up. i, as always was taking mad pictures.

then i decided that because Raspy was wearing the lovely new shirt i bought him he should pop his collar and we need an official B-Fizzle shot.

and so Raspy put on his best gangsta face and had at it. example 437.2 million why i love him so.

B-Fizzle, you are the best pimpin gangsta boyfriend ever. i love you

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-03-13T22:26:00.003-05:00

it was family date night in the Jobthingy world. Raspy, Speedy and i had a lovely rigatoni bake made by yours truly and then we left for the movies.

Speedy always chooses the movies we see because we let her. i stood in line while they played arcade games. they took off for popcorn while i read. Speedy came back with a big slush puppy and was thrilled.

we saw Alice in Wonderland and i would jus tlike to give Tim Burton HUGE props for a killer film. we all truly enjoyed it.

as per usual, we fought over where Raspy sits, Speedy ended up not beside him at all and we all held hands like a mushy bunch of saps all through the movie.

it was wonderful. i love that we have so much fun together no matter what we do, whether its just a walk or getting to see a new movie.

i am so blessed to have such an amazing man, and daughter.

Life.. or something like it.. part 5

2010-03-09T19:47:00.002-05:00

the rest of my teen years were filled with all things it is supposed to. sneaking into bars, staying out all night, skipping school. my mom was pretty oblivious to it because she was naive and had her own shit going on.

i saw dad pretty rarely. special occasions, the odd call. he just lived up the road but i just didnt care.

when i was 18 i found out i was pregnant with Speedy. i really thought both my parents would snap. to my surprise both of them were thrilled. of course as scared as i am but they were both really excited to be grandparents.

i would crave 2 things. one was processed cheese any way i could get it and the other was chocolate milk. my dad would come over every 2 weeks with a huge container of cheese whiz and a huge jug of chocolate milk. i would have both polished off in no time. (yeah i know.. gross LOL)

he would ask how i was feeling, coo at the ultra sound pictures, ask about doctors appointments and baby's heart rate. it was definately different. not the norm for him. i was glad he was so excited.

when speedy was born he was thrilled. until the day he died they had a very close relationship. when she was old enough to talk, they would call eachother every day, morning and night. sometimes she would talk his ear off and other times she would watch a tv show with him on the phone.

he would have his cupboards stoked with stuff for her. baby food when she was little, cookies when she could eat solids, yogurt because she loved it. you name it, if she liked it, he had it there for her so that when we would go visit she would have anything she wanted from her Grandpapa.

things were great until i had asked my sister to babysit for me. it was summer, i had to work and she had no job. i told her i would pay her and she could come here and have access to the pool and whatnot. only rule is that she is sober. no being high around my child. i thought it to be a good plan. boy was i wrong.

Speedy was about 3.5 at the time. everyday my sister asked what she wanted for lunch. Speedy, being that age would give the same response 'kraft dinner' or 'zoodles!'. she was too stupid to realize that to get a different response you offer up something else. or say 'how about soup today?' and speedy would happily say yes.

well the cunt decided that because this was speedy's constant answer that it wasnt just the fact that she was a child with favorites when asked, she decided that is all i feed my child and im some horrible mother.

she ran to my dad and, being the golden child she is, he listened. 'all she feeds the baby is kraft dinner and zoodles. nothing else! she is not a fit mother!'

he, rather then call me, called my mom. he told her.. not asked.. told her that i was unfit because of what the cunt said and they were calling CAS on me.

of course my mom called me right away and i was FUMING. i didnt know who to call first. i thought, i went on the balcony for a smoke and then i went in and looked up the number for CAS.

i called them and gave them my name, address and phone number, my dads name address and phone number and told them the bull shit my sister made up to make me look bad. i think, even though she was getting paid, she was still ticked at the fact that my dad and i were getting along so well up until then and she needed to ensure she stayed, in his eyes, the golden child.

the man i spoke to on the phone said it just all sounds very much like she is jealous and after what i told him about how i was 19 with a child that had to have brain surgery and had raised this disabled child on my own with no issues that i really have nothing to worry about and he gave me kudos on my ballsyness for calling them first.

i told him he is welcome for tea anytime.

after that i wrote a letter to my dad. i knew talking would not get anything through his head.

i had told him that its sad that he believed this stoned kid over me, the mother of his only grandchild and to think that he thinks so little of my skills as a mother made me ill. i wanted nothing to do with him but i told him that if he wanted to see or speak to Speedy he was to call and ask for her but dont think i will talk.

seems that he got the point and did call speedy. he never asked to talk to me. that went on for 6 months or so.....

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-03-06T13:53:00.007-05:00

forgive me for being lazy and just giving you a once a week post. i have been busy, tired and outside a lot now that its not freezing. the days are getting longer and we can actually enjoy a nice walk without freezing our asses off.

Raspy got a few comments about the beard on here. this week was shaving week. spring is coming and my mountain man was ready to shed his fur coat.

not without some good fun though of course. this is why he is awesome. he actually went to work like this. so lets begin.

first we had Mutton Chop Monday. we decided he looked badass.

this needed 2 pics because of just how badass he is

next was Fumanchuesday!

wednesday is hump day so what makes sense? why its Pornstache Hump day of course. and he totally looks like Earl here.. no? LOL! i love him

thursday was soul patch thursday but he forgot to take a picture of it. he remembered as he shaved it of.. silly nut. we will forgive him because we have the rest of this awesomeness.

and friday, before he goes back to his bald self, Fonzy Friday with some killer Fonzy-esque sideburns. eehhhhh.

and that, right there children is why i have the best man in the world. he is not ashamed to go out in full pornstache or fumanchu look just cause its funny.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-02-27T12:24:00.003-05:00

you know. there was a time in my life where the future scared me. growing old scared me. i would envision myself old, freaked out and alone.. with cats.

of course i would have Speedy but she would be off doing her thing and i would see her once in a blue moon when she has time for her crazy old mother.

then Raspy came along.

the future no longer seems so bleak.

i look forward to growing old with him and it doesnt scare me anymore.

even when he gets bored and grows the bushy beard from hell. i still adore him and its just a little more tickly when we kiss.

oh you want to see the beard? no probs! LOL. oh that beard. i love you baby.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-02-20T13:19:00.004-05:00

not only are we cute, mushy and disgustingly in love ...

but we also have...

matching coats!

*snickers* i got a great deal on these and oh they are warm for our canadian winter. my white ladies version has a lip gloss pocket. which is awesome. his black man version is minus the lip gloss pocket and he has no problems with that LOL

we are also damn cute in them :)

in which i lose my shit

2010-02-15T02:32:00.002-05:00

i just went to pull out a night shirt. i grabbed something out and one of the 3 shirts my cunt sister was kind enough{sarcasm} to give me from my dad came out. i picked it up and smelled him.

i have not lost it. i know it sounds completely horrible but i havent. its been almost 2 months and the tears i cried were nothing really.

a couple of just because tears at the funeral and that is about it.

is it because of her.. probably. but it just wasnt there.

but right now, well about 15 mins ago, i smelled him and i just lost it. i fucking lost it. full out, non stop tears, snotty running nose and the whole bit. basically what should have happened when he passed but didnt.

i thought it was the anxiety meds im on that were just blocking it... seems it just had to happen in its own time.

and the shirt that set me off? this circa early 1980's shirt that he wore up until his death with that picture on it...

..and yes that is my baby face.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥ Valentines Edition (again)

2010-02-13T02:51:00.005-05:00

last year i gave you this puke worthy post. go on and come back if you werent around for it.

.........

ok youre back? good.

so now another year has gone by. we have had many ups and a couple downs. one very brutal down that we worked through. and were still here.

i really dont think i can ever put into words what this man has done in my life. he has made it so full. when it was just Speedy and i it was great but there was always that little bit missing.

it no longer is.

our time is so wonderful from the early morning phone calls to the (sometimes) few hours we get. it is not always picture perfect what with kids and work and life but for now, even when i get bitchy about it, it works.

i wear his promise to love me ring proudly and gush to anyone that wants to know.

he was with me, this past year, through some very trying times with the death of my father and one of my cats. he stood by me, hugged me and wiped my tears. he also made me giggle which is always the best medicine.

every day for us is love day really. and every saturday he gets it here. but this time of year he gets an extra special dose of puke worthy blog.

baby, you are silly, fun, and blow my mind all the time and i love you more then i think you will ever know. you amaze me. thank you for loving me.

Your love is better than ice cream
Better than anything else that I've tried
And your love is better than ice cream
But everyone here knows how to cry

And it's a long way down
It's a long way down
It's a long way down to the place
Where we started from

Your love is better than chocolate
Better than anything else that I've tried
Oh love is better than chocolate
Everyone here knows how to fight

And it's a long way down
It's a long way down
It's a long way down to the place
Where we started from
Ooh

Sarah McLachlan

Happy Love Day 2010 Blogland!

poop is on the ground, everywhere i look around

2010-02-12T16:54:00.003-05:00

i dont understand some dog people. i really dont.

half the time they dont pick up their dogs shit to begin with and then in the winter its worse. its almost as though they figure it is melting down into the snow so it cant be seen so fuck it. they walk away.

then when you get thaw like we have had a bit of now and the dead grass is showing there is dog shit everywhere you look.

i often wonder how these people would feel if they had company over and said company took a steaming shit on the middle of their living room floor. they would be pissed right?

Ottawa bylaw says:

You must pick up all waste produced by your dog both on and off your property.

but they dont. and really how the hell do they enforce this? short of having your video phone ready and taking a clip of the lazy owner and emailing it in hopes that someone actually looks at it.

i really hate playing dodge the dog poop. it is NOT my favorite game and i cannot tell you how often i say to Speedy "dont walk there.. there is probably poop" to which she respods "no there isnt mom!........... oh never mind"

if you cant pick it up, you shouldnt have a dog. period.

there is a guy in the building that has 2 dogs and drives a scooter. he can walk. (i have gotten into this on more then one occasion also) he also has no problems getting out of his scooter to rummage peoples trash on suday nights and loading his scooter with collections of crap from the curb but uses this as an excuse not to pick up his dogs shit.

it just really irks me that people just dont care. i do not enjoy steping in, just about stepping in or having to dodge stepping in your dogs shit.

pick it up lazy bastards!

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-02-06T11:43:00.000-05:00

hello boyfriend.

i love you.

that is all.

Love, Girlfriend

aylmer invasion!

2010-02-04T19:12:00.002-05:00

i have this friend. she and i have been friends for many years. she bugs the shit out of me, i bug the shit out of her and that is our friendship. we love eachother to death. its all in good fun.

WAAAAYYYYYY back she and i worked the canteen together at a bingo. it was her and i, canteen nazi's. no joke. if you pissed us off... NO COFFEE for you! it was great. we should have been fired for how we treated people there. we really didnt give a fuck. but it was bingo so no one cared.

i like to call her arseface... but she doesnt want that blog name. so she will be forever known as Hotcakes Aylmer. listen. i didnt make it up. she did.

she just called because she has just realized that a friend of hers knows my friend The Maven. so, she, being she, has to call to get the scoop. just cause shes an arse.

i tell her Maven and i met on a mommy board a long ways back (oh man, so long ago.. when Gutsy was just a baby, Spawnling wasnt even a glimmer in his parents eye and Intrepid was far from a teenager. good god time flies.) then friend mentions blog. ~~arseface~~ Hotcakes Aylmer asks about blog and a bunch of questions cause she says she is old and doesnt know about this shit and hollers in the phone that she NEEDS TO SEE!

apparantly she thinks im new to this blogland.. HA!

so i told her i will send her the link after she gets her very own post.

so here Hotcakes Aylmer. here is your post. welcome to my blog. bookmark it and after you figure blogland out come back. love you!

weekend wrap up and a LATE sweetheat Saturday

2010-02-01T19:11:00.004-05:00

yes i am late. but you see... Raspy was out of town this weekend. so when i didnt get around to my regular saturday post i didnt sweat it. then yesterday i had a lazy day and barely came into the computer room.

then this morning, i call Raspy as i do every morning and i got 'hey! you didnt write my sweetheart saturday post'

*giggles*

hes so cute. the poor guy had boys weekend and prob came here first thing this morning looking for his post and there was nothing.

im sorry baby.

weekend was a fun one. friday was spent having drinks and playing board games with the londonite and company.

and saturday! i got to have dinner at Chris and Bunnys place from Nachos at midnight. he went all rachel ray on our asses and made some KILLER mini burgers and sweet potato chips. it was so freaking yummy. Speedy was his kitchen assistant and Bunny and i did a wonderful job of supervising while drinking wine. its an important job you know that supervision.

the laughs were plentiful and the evening was grand. it only took us 6 months to get our asses organized for dinner but it happened.

i came home that night a little tipsy and talking to a slurring Raspy on the phone *snickers*

and now that youre in the know, i end this with some love by way of Ziggy Marley lyrics... just to make it up to my love.

I Love You Too lyrics

I love you too, I love you too
I tell you I love you
I love you too, I love you too
I love you

When you smile I'll smile along
When you cry my comfort comes
When you walk I'll be beside you
Holding your hands
When the sun come out we play
I'll never be far away
When you tell me that you love me
This is what I'm gonna say

( Chorus )

Like the fish loves the sea
Like the honey and the bee
Like a lizard loves to climb
Up into a tree
Like a bird loves to fly
Way up in the sky
Like a worm loves to go
Way down low

( Chorus )

Like the grass loves to be green
And the earth loves to be clean
Like the sun loves to shine
And the monkey loves to climb
Hey it happens naturally
And that's the way it's got to be
And the worm still loves to go
Way down low

( Chorus )

From the first time that I saw you
I knew that it was true
There'll be a lifelong time to spend
Around the corner around the bends
Up the hills and through the valleys
No matter how things change
This one thing will remain
I'll sing it again and again

I love you too, I love you too
I love you too, I love you too
I love you

When the sun come out we play
I'll never be far away
And when you tell me
That you love me
This is what I'm gonna say

I love you too, I love you too
I tell you I love you
I love you too, I love you too
I love you too, I love you too
I tell you I love you
I love you too, I love you too
I love you too, I love you too
I tell you I love you
I love you too, I love you too
I love you too, I love you too
I tell you I love you

life.. or something like it - Part 4

2010-01-25T22:25:00.003-05:00

rather then linking each 'chapter' of this, i have labeled them all life stories

i did not realize what that year of nothing and struggling did to my mother. she never let it show. she got a job at the pharmacy over here (she still works there now) and from what i thought things were good.

she was home long enough in the morning to get us up for school, pack our lunches and we would all leave about the same time. she would come home not long after we both got home from school. cook dinner. i would usually eat and take off with friends. after all i was a teen. i would come home for curfew and rinse and repeat and that was our week.

i remember there was one day she was not there in the morning. i found it strange. there was a note saying something along the lines of she had to go out. wasnt sure where she was going at that time in the morning. mom was all about routine so for her to just up and go like that didnt make much sense.

if she had an appointment before work we would know every day for a week before it happened just not to throw a wrench in the routine. thats just the way she was.

later that evening i had asked her and she just said she had errands to run. i asked her why she didnt tell us prior. i got something about last minute and she was tired and going to bed early.

i found out many years later that it was not errands she was running. she had intentionally swalloed too many pills because she didnt think she could cope and after swallowing she felt tremendous guilt because of us and rushed herself to the hospital (thankfully which is only 2 blocks away) to have her stomach pumped.

it was shortly there after she started seeing a shrink regularly and also declared bankruptcy. not long after she started seeing him she insisted i should start seeing him also.

this was not my cup of tea. i was a hormonal bitch of a teen dealing with shit my way and really could care less about talking to this doctor. but she made me go. so i went. very reluctantly.

i hated sitting on that couch. the office smelled. it was like stale air. like nothing ever has circulated in the god knows how many years he was there.

he would ask me questions about how i felt about my dad, the divorce and how he treated me. i would answer with the shortest answers possible if at all. i would doddle until the hour was up and leave. the visits lasted about 3 weeks until he finally told my mom that it seemed pointless and i will come back when i was ready. (he was right but it would not be for many years)

all the while stuff never changed. dad would still call. we wouldnt answer the phone after a certain time and turn the ringers and the machine off for the night.

there was one day he called and asked me for supper. out of no where. 'hey baby, want to go to Dynasty for pizza?'. this was his favorite pizza place. and he just wanted to be with me. bizarre yes. but i thought maybe, just maybe, something clicked in him and for once in my life he and i could have a decent meal.

i met him there. he was already parked at his window seat with a pitcher of beer and a coke waiting for me. he had ordered the food so i wouldnt have to wait long. he said he knew i would probably want to go out with my friends.

there wasnt much chit chat. the normal hows school talk. hows your sister, hows the apartment. just bull shit talk really. pizza came. he served me, served himself. asked if it was good. i said yes.

i was not even half through my slice when he started piping off about how much of a bitch/whore/cunt/slut my mother was for breaking up his family because if it wasnt for her we could be enjoying this meal as a whole.

i immediately told him this was his first AND LAST warning. 'if you dont knock it off ill leave'.

he said ok. took a couple more bites and then it all came out again.

'i told you there would be one chance and you blew it. thanks for supper. good bye.' i slammed fork down and i promptly walked out.

he didnt follow. he didnt call out. and i didnt turn around. he had a chance and the bastard blew it. fuck him.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-01-23T12:16:00.005-05:00

sundays are always great fun around the Jobthingy household. Raspy brings Nappie down and we get bundled up and take him for a run in a big school field near by.

Speedy loves to play with him and Raspy and i hold hands and smootch while we walk along with them.

we all love our walks. we are all pooped after. its a great time.

last week when raspy was dropping us off i was kissing his beautiful face while speedy was making her way out of the car.

*kiss* i love you.. *kiss again* .... *kiss again*

and here it came .. right between us.. *SLURP*

nappie wanted in on the kissing action also. so here his big tongue was smack dab in the middle of our faces.

gross. yes. but he is cute. so hes allowed. ill let him interupt our kissing. but just him :)

come out, come out where ever you are!

2010-01-18T23:17:00.004-05:00

yeah i know. a few days late. shhh.

anyhoo. children. its time. come out from behind that bush. tell me who you are. say hello. im opening up anon comments for this one.

yes its ok to be the non silent stalker once in a blue moon :)

2010 - the year of the GAH!

2010-01-17T18:29:00.004-05:00

ok for real what the hell is this

new years day, i itch my forehead without apparantly knowing my own strength? i dont know but i end up tearing a chunk of skin out and bleeding and had to walk around with this scab there for a week.

the 2nd, i itch my nose and it starts to bleed. no not a nose bleed from dry winter air. just on top. just cause it felt like it and didnt want to stop.

then i got the sinus cold from hell

the week after i go to work. leave the building in the same way i always do, i hit the most slippery patch of ice and go ass over tea kettle leaving me with a very sore and bruised tail bone and a big guash on my wrist.

now i put the carrots on.. well i thought i did, but i put the wrong burner on. put the oven mitt on to move the pot because the handle was sitting directly over the very hot burner. sit it there. throw off the mitt. look and its off a bit so i, without thinking, grab the handle to straighten it.

my skin sizzled i think. im sitting here with ice on it.

enough! we arent even a month into the year yet! GAH!

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-01-16T19:00:00.003-05:00

some dont know it, but some do. i have my very own, personal source for entertainment news.

when MJ died, i knew before CNN knew. really. i shit you not.

it is raspy. he is an entertainment news junkie. it cracks me up. he is hooked on TMZ and any questions i ever have about who is with who, who hit who with a golf club or even shady leather gloves i can run to him and he always knows.

yes ok, not the best hobby. but its his. and seeing that i am not one to read people or perez i never know what the hell is going on.

sometimes i will come across something on my igoogle page and call him excitedly to tell him thinking i have found out before him. and he already knows with more detail then i do.

i love it. i love him. greatest man ever. and he is all mine.

life.. or something like it - Part 3

2010-01-12T00:04:00.003-05:00

Part 1 is here.. and part 2 is here if you missed any of this and are lost in the middle

it started right back where we were as soon as our phone was hooked up. we were just at a different location. of course, my mom gave him the number. after all his children were there and she swore she would never keep us from him. she was true to her word.

it was at a cost tho.

the phone would ring all night. at all hours. him. calling us names. bitching, ranting and raving about how she broke up the family unit. it was all her fault we left. no one elses. not his drunken rages, not his utter neglect for me, but her. i remember yelling in the phone that THIS is what broke up the family and slamming the phone down thinking it would get into his head.

we would hang up and he would call right back. we would stop answering and just let the machine get it and he would keep calling until the machine was full. we would turn the ringers off and the volume down on the machine but you could still hear it click, click, click every few minutes (ah the days before voice mail).

he would fill an entire tape with drunk nonsense. eventually he would either get too drunk or too tired to call back and it would stop for the night. (this also would be about the time he would over or under medicate for his diabetes. its late, hes loaded and either thinks he took his meds so he doesnt or forgets he took them and takes them again. something he had been doing for as long as i can remember and when we lived there my mom would leave meds out for him in a dish so he knew to take them)

until the next day it would start all over again.

i would see him from time to time but really not often. my sister went with him more. but of course she was daddy's golden child and was thrilled to see him at any chance she could.

i think that is about the time he started putting it in her head also that my mother is to blame for all of this, i am a bitch and they dont need anyone else. but at the same time he would not take her full time or even over night no matter how often she asked to sleep there. he would not be able to go out and get drunk all night if she was there. so she was always back home with us by days end.

(eventually she would grow to hate my mother and myself. of course, the feeling is mutual here.)

he would threaten my mother with nothing. meaning giving her nothing. he did not want to pay her support of any kind because she broke up the family. he was also convinced she cheated on him every Wednesday night when she was at bowling. which was funny because half the time we were there with her.

but because in his eyes she was an adulterer, she was getting nothing. nothing for her, us, not a dime. he was pissed and full of spite and was not going to make life easy for anyone.

i did not realize it at the time but that first year my mother was living on credit mostly. she worked full time but really did not make a lot and had 2 children and pricey rent and bills. no support from my dad. she also never wanted us to suffer. we never wanted for anything. probably guilt for leaving is why.

a year after moving she got an apartment that was geared to income. rent would be affordable and we thought things would finally start to get better..

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2010-01-09T12:30:00.002-05:00

oh my sweet love. you have me in stitches all the time. laughing is so easy and fun with you.

and altho last night did not quite go as planned, we will just have to watch the Hangover another day..

but i did enjoy ~~WHOOPING YOUR ASS~~ playing mariokart with you last night. it was a hoot.

i love you

life.. or something like it - Part 2

2010-01-06T23:49:00.002-05:00

Part 1 is found here

things continued to get angry in the household. dad would come home more drunk and more verbal lashes would fly towards my mom and i.

never to my sister. she was the golden child. why? i dont know. maybe because she was so young. she is 5 years younger then i am. she also looks a lot like his side of the family where as i am a spitting image of my mother and always have been. maybe he just picked a favorite.

i really dont know, nor will i ever know why i was the little bitch and she was not.

if i asked for money to go somewhere with friends he would tell me to stand on a street corner and make money with my mother. if she asked she would get whatever her heart desired.

as i came into teendom and knew what all these awful things meant and how resentful i was towards my father for being so hateful to me, mom decided it was time to split.

she took me for a walk. little did i know it was to see a new place to live. i just figured it was a walk. a long freaking walk. eventually as we got closer to our destination she explained that she is leaving my father and she would give us the choice as to what parent we wanted to stay with but she could not sit back and watch him do this to me or her anymore.

obviously i was not going to stay with him. i was mad, hormonal and he really didnt like me anyways. why the hell would i?

my sister came with us because she was really too young to understand all that was going on. all she knew is that we were leaving and she could see him at anytime she wanted.

i was just about to turn 14 and my sister just about to turn 9.

we saw the place we were going to look at. we loved it. it was perfect for us and blammo! it was done. signed the lease and booked a mover.

she did not tell my dad we were leaving until the day before. it was alot of hush packing and storing boxes in the sheds and under the stairs where he never went. the day of would be the mad dash to pack and get out of dodge. she knew if she told him sooner it would just make for more yelling, name calling and fighting.

it is hard to say whether or not he knew this was going on. i mean she had threatened to leave many times but never went ahead with it. so it must have always been a thought in the back of his mind. but then again he was so drunk most of the time that who knows what he actually remembered.

that is when you think you can breathe a sigh of relief. you move. its done. and now he cant keep you awake at night. the name calling can stop. healing can begin... no not really

life.. or something like it - Part 1

2010-01-05T23:39:00.003-05:00

you know its funny that thing called life.

i remember when i was young, very young. before i understood what bad words meant when they were called to me. i would sit happily in my life and love every minute of it.

i was convinced my parents would be together forever. there would be no divorce. we were a family that wasnt split and at the time there were quite a few (altho not as much as there are now) and in my head there would never be such a thing.

i would grow up still with my parents together and everything would be grand.

i was a very shy child. scared. scared mostly of the unknown. i would cry thinking that if something ever happened to either of my parents i just would not know how to go on. some weird childhood anxiety i guess.

my granny lived under us. my dad had bought a duplex so she could live there and we wouldnt have to worry about her. it was great. granny and i were the best of friends. i loved going there. i would be there every day after school, after supper until bed time. on weekends i would sleep in her spare room. when i was sick from school i would stay with her and she would feed me toast and fudgesicles.

she passed when i was 8. i had a really rough go with that. i still think about her regularly and wish she could meet my daughter. i know speedy and her would just be smitten with eachother.

it wasnt long after she passed things got more angry around my house. i still was not convinced that being called a bitch or a whore by my father was wrong. i just figured it was another way for him to call me honey or sweetheart like my mom did.

sheltered? perhaps but i was quite young and really when you think about it do you know what those things mean at that age?

he would come home drunk late at night, stumble into my bedroom, brush his big arm along my dresser and everything, all my knick knacks, would crash to the ground scaring the ever loving crap out of me. he would hit the lights, i would cry and he would tell me to shut up and pick up my pig stye of a bedroom.

my mom would quickly follow behind him, kleenex and a facecloth in hand. she would console me, tell me to blow my nose and wash my face and go back to sleep and she would clean the mess in the morning.

things like that happened often. drunken rages at all hours of the night. the yelling, the bad words. i would sniffle myself to sleep and wake the next day no worse for wear and head out to a brand new day.

every saturday the guys from the Maple Leaf Hotel that my dad drank with would all come over in hangover state. my mom would make them brunch of all kinds of yummy baked goods. while she was baking she would shoo us out of the house with my dad. he would take us to McDonalds for breakfast and it was always something i looked forward to. mostly cause of the new toy or coloring book we would get with our meal.

we would come home to muffins and bacon and all kinds of stuff and a load of still half drunk men who all adored me and all took turns playing with my barbie van and playing my little ponies with me. mom would pour them more coffee while i led them all over the house with toys making up the next destination.

it was far from perfect, i see that now. but to me then, it was normal and fun. the drunk fits of rage sucked but at least there was food and playtime to look forward to

and hey. at least my family wasnt divorced right

whoa

2010-01-04T08:53:00.003-05:00

i even missed a sweetheart saturday!

between very busy holidays, and a cold from hell i have not been at the computer much. im in day 3 of the cold and its making me nutty.

i can handle the tiredness, the sneezes, the sniffles, the snot. what i HATE is when my nose is stuffy. and no amount of anything will fix it. i get a 3 second break with vicks and blammo its stuffy again.

then your throat is raw from mouth breathing all night and you wake dryer then the sahara to start it all over again. well after 47 kleenex and a shot of something else cold like.

Speedy had an amazing christmas, altho she always does. she got the DS she has been asking for. its pink and really fun. and a whole bunch of other stuff. the main was that tho and she got it. she is a happy camper.

not calling to wish my dad a merry christmas or happy new year was a little strange. i still find it sureal that i have buried a parent.

new years was good and drunk. we went to see the boys practically next door. had a blast. everyone drank a little too much and the walk home was quick and painless.

now i think i have to call work. i am feeling like complete ass and i need bed. ugh.

Merry Christmas to all...

2009-12-24T12:04:00.003-05:00

its been a couple days. my mind has just been elsewhere. the funeral and burial went well. many people showed for the wake. the priest was at the grave. things went as smooth as possible.

now i put on a happy face and i await the fat man in red. speedy is so excited for xmas. i did all my wrapping last night. she was exhausted and actually asked to leave Morticias house so we could get home and she could go to bed.

and she did just that. and then slept right through until 1140! that is what 2 nights of ~~wakeovers~~ sleepovers will do to a kid.

so that is that. i hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. i hope Santa brings you everything you wished for. be safe, have fun *HUGE hugs*

and so it begins

2009-12-21T12:44:00.003-05:00

saturday we made the arrangements for the funeral. my sister, who as we all know i cant stand, wanted nothing. a private viewing for just his sisters, myself and my mom and he to be just put in the ground with no blessing.

i snapped.

this man was a french catholic man. you dont fuck with that. there are things that need to be done and a final blessing is one of them.

she was a bitch the whole time we were there. like this only bothers her that he is dead. i told her that all his nieces, nephews and friends have the right to say goodbye.

'if you want to make a spectacle of my fathers death then fine. do whatever the fuck you want but i wont be there' were the exact words she used in front of the woman from the funeral home.

my cousins and aunts have thanked me for putting my foot down. for doing what is right. getting a pubic viewing and a priest at the grave site.

now the funny thing is that many of my friends, some who never even met my dad have expressed wanting to come show their respect for myself and speedy.

you know what this is going to be right? her saying something along the lines of its about my friends and this so called spectacle i am trying to create. mark my words. she will SO turn it into that.

she is such a bitch. and she is going to be pissed that i have real friends that care about me as opposed to hers that only care when she has dope.

now i have to dry my hair and get out of here. my 'spectacle' awaits.

death update/sweetheart saturday

2009-12-19T21:21:00.002-05:00

you know i was not even going to write a sweetheart saturday today. i knew as much as Raspy looks forward to them he would understand.

but then he came over. he hugged me hard. and long. and kissed my face and hugged me more. then took his arm around speedy who wanted in on the hug action.

it was just what i needed today. after having to go to arrange my fathers funeral, it was the medicine i needed to get thru the rest of the day.

that man is amazing. he is taking time off to stand at my side and hold me when i need held on Monday when i say goodbye to my fathers body.

his will is MIA and because it has been over 7 years since he made any changes, its archived and the lawyer has to find it. it will be at least monday before it comes and so without it we had to make funeral arrangements on a whim.

he will have a viewing on Monday from 2-4 pm and tues there will be a priest at the grave for his final blessing.

for any family that may read this, email me and i will give yo the specifics, or check facebook or the twitter feed. i have made sure its everywhere.

i am coping pretty well. speedy just keeps my life so happy.

i told her fri after school and she asked if i thought he was playing with Moomoo in heaven.. i told her yes and you know hes probably hating it and she is loving him all up cause he hated cats and Moo knew that and would be all over him like a fat kid on a smartie when she was alive. 'what is with this fucking cat!' he would harp. we would laugh. 'she just loves her grandpa!'

after Speedy was sure that moomoo and him were having fun she said ok. that was the end of it. she knows he is not suffering. she has said she misses him but she has not broken.

i have explained the wake to her and that it looks like he is sleeping but we can tell him we love him, kiss his face and say goodbye. i gave her the option of whether or not to go. she thought for a minute and said she wants to say goodbye.

that is her wish and i have no right to take that from her. so she will come, have her moment, i think she will break a bit and then she will be fine. but at least she will have had her time to say goodbye.

its been a rough couple days. i am emotionally spent. and i have not had my break yet. it is still very sureal at this point. a whole lot of very mixed emotion.

i will update during the week at some point.

my dad is gone

2009-12-18T10:59:00.003-05:00

he went in his sleep around 2 this morning. i am numb. i dont really know what the fuck i am feeling. i am sad because he was my dad. he was a real fucking prick to me growing up. he never apologized for his actions.

but for all the bad with me he was great with his one and only grand daughter. they were best friends and called eachother daily. that always made me happy.

she doesnt know yet. today was last day of school before winter break and its party day so i didnt want to put a damper on the fun day. i wanted to let her have fun and then i can tell her after.

i dont even know how.

i think i am more upset at having to break this news to her then i am for myself. its the super mom in me i guess.

i am just waiting for my sister to call me. we have to empty his room at the home in 24 hours. i have spent most of the morning on the phone trying to reach various relatives. i think they all know now. i just cant reach one of his sisters but i am sure someone will.

RIP dad. i love you

he was suffering and this was something i have been expecting for quite a few years now. i have grieved him more then once in the past and now its real.

Happy Birthday Speedy!!!

2009-12-16T02:17:00.001-05:00

this will be autoposted for 2:17am because it is at that time, 11 years ago, my sweet girl made her way into the world.

she was the cutest, squawking little butterball ever. i cried my head off. i knew we would have a struggle ahead of us because we knew about her tumor already but she was still perfect, strong and other then the whole brain tumor thing, she was healthy.

this girl has grown into the happiest, most thoughtful little girl. she loves to love, smile and is just amazing.

11 years have flown by in the blink of an eye. it seems like yesterday i was pregnant and here i have a .. (ugh) tween.

Happy Birthday Miss Emma. i love you so much.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2009-12-12T09:30:00.002-05:00

my computer is.. well different. in that i have a desk, a computer and a big honkin easy chair as my computer chair. yes seriously. its old, its warn, it has a broken leg that needs constant fixing but it awesome. it is covered by the most killer leopard, ghetto fabulous comforter. its great.

yes i have a point.

you needed a visual

so last weekend we were having a lazy saturday evening. dinner with my loves, movie and hockey. Speedy wanted to watch Mamma Mia for the billionth time with Raspy and mom.

so they are yakking while i am cooking and somehow they get on to ABBA videos. how i dont know.

next thing i know, raspy and speedy and squished together in my big chair, on youtube, singing ABBA songs and Raspy was giving her ABBA 101 - 'she was married to him, he was married to her'

i swear it was the cutest thing i have ever seen in my freaking life.

he was right into it because she was so into it. it was yet another bonding moment. who knew it would be over youtubed abba.

those 2 are best pals. they have little jokes. they laugh and they just adore eachother.

i am so freaking lucky.

dad update.. more

2009-12-11T16:05:00.002-05:00

alright i just got home. stopped there on the way. he is not right. he is not happy, very cranky, seems in pain and not exactly sure of what is going on, where he is or anything really.

i said hi to him then went to find his nurse. we spoke for a few then she followed me back and asked him if he knew who i was. 'yes, thats my sister' he said. i piped up and asked which one (he has 4 sisters). the nurse asked him for my name, and he gave my name, it just seems today i am his sister.

i looked at the info on the chart and they had a possible diagnosis down as urosepsis which from what i am reading can cause for mental unawareness.

he ended up telling me to leave. fine. i left. he is mad, wants to go home, confused and to top it off they had to restrain him because he pulled the iv out of his arm.

before that tho i washed his face, told him i love him and asked if he wants to see the baby (that is what he calls Speedy all the time). he loved me too but no he didnt want to see the baby.

fine. so i left.

i asked for the rounds doctor to call me. hopefully he does. just so i can get a better feel for what the hell is going on.

ill update when i know more.

thanks for the love guys. xoxo

dad update

2009-12-11T08:38:00.002-05:00

my sister, weedwhore, called this morning. she stayed there til 1am. he was seen by a urologist for the blood in his urine. from what she said its alot of blood.

they were taking him to ICU. they were going to run some tests to figure out where all this blood is coming from. she said that after they gave him fluids and iv antibio he got some color back and was a little more coherent.

apparantly the nurse gave her a talking to about his DNR wishes. that freaked her out a bit.

i guess at this point his heart was not acting like it should have and should he have had another heart attack chances are he wouldnt make it.

i am short shift today and off at 1. so i am going to head there right after work. update later.

dad is in the hospital

2009-12-10T20:09:00.002-05:00

i got a call about half an hour ago that my dad was on his way to the hospital via ambulance.

there was urine in his blood, his O2 sats were quite low and he is running a fever. the home decided he was too sick to be there and immediately called an ambulance.

my sister, weedwhore, had no number on file there. if you remember she is the cunt that has power of attorney but can get by a day without being higher then a kite.

so i get a hold of my mom to get her number. she is more concerned with the fact that her new number is not on file then that her father was rushed to emerg.

i wont bring speedy there so i am stuck here waiting for news.

ugh.

December in Ottawa.. and its GOING to snow!?

2009-12-08T20:00:00.003-05:00

isnt that some shocking news. ok. if you cant read my sarcasm i am telling you its there and layered on thick.

the media has been preparing us since Sunday for a BIG WINTER STORM (!!!!) coming our way tomorrow.

now when you think BIG WINTER STORM you should think of the time a couple years back when we got just under 5 feet of snow in 24 hours. that was a BIG WINTER STORM.

so im thinking, lying in bed sunday night listening to them ramble on the weather network, 'shit, the first dump is going to be like that?'

the panic in the city is setting in. people are planning to work from home, school buses have already planned to cancel and all the plow trucks are ready to go. people have been lined up to get snow tires (you fucktards should have done that a LONG time ago) and i am sure people are stocking up on essentials so they dont have to leave the house for a couple days.

and this BIG WINTER STORM they are speaking of? its going to run thru with a whopping..... 20 centimeters of snow.

...

20 fucking centimeters. thats it. for americans that dont understand centimeters, 20 cm is equal to 7.8 inches. whoopteefuckingdoo.

its december people. thank your lucky stars we didnt have snow at halloween for fucks sake.

i leave you with a rick mercer rant on the weather i got a kick out of. (thanks again Nat)

♥Swetheart Saturday♥

2009-12-05T03:16:00.002-05:00

my sweet love. you amaze me all the time. your love, respect and caring for me blows my mind. i never thought i would be so lucky as to find someone like you.

you are such a beautiful person inside and out. your sunny personality shines through those beautiful eyes of yours for all to see.

you are my best friend, my perfect love, and my everything and i could never ask for anything better. you are perfect to me.

i love you so much.

Dear person i once considered a sister,

2009-12-02T18:59:00.002-05:00

thank god it is just by marriage that we are sisters because having any relation to someone like you by blood would make me vomit.

you have been successful in driving a wedge between my family and myself. are you content? i damn well hope so. you worked hard at making the lies, exaggerating the truth and planning the next bit of gossip you can plant in someones head.

this blog is mine and what i write in it is my business. i mean you claim always not to read it but do you think i am a fucking idiot? i see your IP address show up often in my stats. then you run back to your mother and take shit i say, twist it to what is advantage to you and then tell them.

get a fucking life. one where you have something other to do with your time then to talk shit about people.

and really? if youre going to quote stuff i say in my blog, is it really smart to twist it? no its not. i wrote it. the page can be easily printed.

it all comes back to you. the disagreement about the painting in march, my parents dislike for my boyfriend. all you. YOU emailed my friend about a painting you wanted in on and blamed your mother. YOU are jealous that i have a real man in my life and all you can do is dream up relationships in your head. so you take what you think you know about a person, blow it up into something completely ridiculous and run back and tell our parents so that you are the one that looks so sweet and innocent. dont disagree because ANYTHING those ladies know of him is not from me.

i am not the only person who sees beyond your bull shit gossiping ways.

not that it is any of your fucking business but the letter I wrote to MY mother was being mailed. but you took it upon yourself to do what you do best and cause more shit then deserved.

you should look up karma sometime because it always comes back 10 fold and when it comes back at you, it will be a glorious day.

grow up. keep my name, and my friends names out of your bull shit lies that you concoct (with your room mate who knows NONE of us) and story telling. none of us like your drama.

Dear Mom

2009-11-29T21:53:00.002-05:00

you know, i get it. i get you lived a shitty life with my dad who verbally abused you for many years. i get that you found happiness with your partner also. i was not so thrilled about this when it first came about. not because you are now gay but because i saw you going from one controlling alcoholic to another.

i told you this. partner cut back on drinking quite a bit and that was good. altho she was still controlling to some point. can be quite rude. but hey. youre happy. who am i to judge. i played nice. i ignored it all. apparantly i missed the part where she turned you into a bitter, angry, man hating person as well.

you now are that person, like her, that has something rude to say about each and every person you know. these people no sooner leave your presence and youre stabbing them in the back right along with the partner. they all wonder why you are not around so much and i dont have the heart to tell these people, who i consider family, that you are too busy talking shit about them to hang out with them. i especially love when you try to warn me of the 2 faced people when you and partner are just that.

there was a time where i was your priority. i being your daughter who is always here. you would stick up for me. it seems the tables have turned. you no longer will confront your partner on something that has been looming for almost a year now because you dont want to start a fight. i have not been invited to your home in about a year but yet my sister, who stole from you, is.

this bothers me. a lot.

then there is the icing on the cake. your very blunt hatred to anyone that will listen for my boyfriend. you have no reason at all to hate him. he has done nothing but treat me with respect. he loves me, my child and yes even you. you have only met him a couple of times because he is busy. he works, he plays sports and he has 2 kids that are his number 1. this should be something you admire.

instead you claim he is a homophobe because that is what you and the partner have decided he is. you also listen to the bull shit lies that partners daughter comes up with because she is nothing but a shit disturber. she tells partner, partner tells you and BLAMMO! a crafted lie is set in motion. oh yes they are lies, ask her to prove the things she claims to know about a man who was only nice to her for my sake.

this person you are is not the person that raised me. that lady would NEVER have said in front of a room of people, including her own grand daughter, 'oh i cant stand him. im not going there' when my back is turned. yes i heard you. i was just in the next room.

i am not sure what exactly you have turned into but it is not a nice person. not the person i loved and admired for so many years. and it seems it is partners influence. you are the type that is easily influenced and she is the main one.

anyone that has met my boyfriend adores him. he is sweet, and would do anything for anyone. but you wont see that. and that will forever put a strain on our, yours and mine, relationship.

you will lovingly and whole heartedly accept my ex, Speedy's sperm donor into your home at any given moment. you will drink with him, talk to him for hours, buy him gifts at christmas and this is a man who cares more about dogs and cars then his own child. a guy that threatened to kill me, a guy that physically and verbally abused me. and you know all this. and yet he is your favorite. how the fuck does that work?

and what is sad is that Raspy is willing to go over there and talk to you anytime. but its easier for you to talk about him then to him

i am sick over this all. my mom should not make my emotions run so high. but you have.

maybe one day you will see the person you have turned into. maybe then we can be close again.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2009-11-28T01:44:00.004-05:00

you know you have found the one when a man can make you laugh like the dickens.

i swear, that Raspy has me in stitches all the time.

he was funny when we first met and i find now more then ever he is even funnier.

he is a shy man that Raspy and well, his ex wife - the warden, didnt find him so funny. so i figured out that his brain was just trained to not crack silly jokes.

but with me they would slip. and i would laugh. and it took a short while but eventually he was programmed back to normal that he can be a silly fool and i will still love every ounce of him. he can be himself and not have to walk on eggshells

i always know, no matter how shitty of a day i have, i can shoot him a quick email and i will get some silly response, dirty joke, anything but it will be funny and i will laugh loud and tell him i love him more for doing so.

i am so lucky. i know i say it all the time but i am. he is just so great. ♥

now with added financial stress!

2009-11-24T20:58:00.004-05:00

as if it wasnt enough that i am a single parent with zero help from ~~the piece of shit, selfish douche bag that cares more about his dog then his own child~~ Speedy's dad. i have raised this kid that was not supposed to do anything, on my own. i made her the thoughtful, caring, running, yakking, lovable girl she is today. all by myself. raising a child with hemiparesis, a seizure disorder, ADHD and a learning delay is not easy for the most part. but i did it, quite successfully from the ripe old age of 19 onward. he was good at picking her up, leaving her at various relatives houses and telling her its ok to lie. no im not shitting you.

i live on my part time wages and keep a roof over our heads and our bellies very full. i get bits and peices of help from her grandmothers but thats it. usually shoes and boots.

i thought we were good until now. now we have had to see an orthodontist. now we need braces. not 'hey lets make your mouth pretty' braces. no. those could be avoided. we need medically necessary braces. seems Speedy has a very serious problem with impacted teeth. MANY impacted teeth. to the point that adult teeth are dying under the gum because they have fought every which way but up to get out.

it was explained to me by a surgeon that all the radiation she withstood as a fetus and infant (bi-weekly ultrasounds from 28 weeks in utero, CT and MRI's, quite a few, after she was born because of the tumor she had) is to blame for it. even tho the teeth arent there they are forming like everything else and the radiation from all these things cause for teenage tooth problems.

well she is 11 next month and the time is here.

we still have no child support but 1 paymet when he decided to beg mummy for money the day his liscence would be suspended.

and guess what the orthodontist quoted us.. any guesses? come on..

ok ok ill tell you. $7000. and she will have them over 4 years minimum. that is after oral surgery to remove baby teeth, pull out dying adult teeth and pull down the canines that still cant come out. that will cost more. how much? i dont know yet. ill find out tomorrow when we go for that consult.

oh wait it gets better.

i dont have insurance because i am just PT. so i was offered a program that would cover 75% of the cost. great yes. BUT. there is always a but. i have to submit payments first and then receive back about 6 weeks later.

for the mothly 200$ payments, that is fine, after a couple months they will overlap and i will just have to put in 50$. but before? its going to be tight. well it will be tight for the time it takes to pay it off regardless but not as bad

oh wait.. better still? when braces get put on you have to pay a 25% down payment. approx 1500. i tell the office admin i dont know how i am going to do that.. her response? 'well the 25% would only be about 1500 that you can write a cheque or just give us a credit card number for'

WHAT? i dont have a fucking credit card and it takes me just over 2 months to make that. how the fuck am i supposed to manage.

thankfully, i have an amazing friend who is there to bail me out. she told me she will loan me the down and just sign the cheque over to her when it comes in adn the rest i can pay in installments so that, you know, i can still pay rent. she is my savior.

i am scared to know what the surgeon is going to cost tomorrow. i am starting to think her mouth is going to cost more then my college education. UGH.

and yes, those are her teeth up there.

♥Sweetheart Saturday♥

2009-11-21T14:11:00.006-05:00

last weekend we were supposed to go to the movies but poor Raspy had an awful cough (we went today instead.. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was a riot!) couple that with his asthma and welcome to the coughing fits of the century. he didnt want to be that guy in the theater ruining it for everyone.

so instead we spent an afternoon with his/our dog Nappie.

we took him to a field near by and let him run his fool head off. Speedy ran along with him. after about an hour both of them were so pooped.. we went to Tims and got a treat and Nappie and Speedy both passed out.

i adore our little family adventures. even if its just walking around a damp field, we do it and have so much fun. we giggle and hold hands and smile at Speedy being her silly self.

i adore my family. it took a long time but finally i have found perfection. so has Raspy. and we both could not be more thrilled

PS: bones at the store that claim to be a "one hour chew" are not. they are 10 minute chews, in case you were wondering.